In the span of five minutes, I’d just made one of the biggest decisions of my life. One that was going to affect me forever.
The panic attack came fast and furious. I was suddenly heaving for air as the sobs began. My vision was growing dim and I did my best to settle down, resting my head on the cool granite countertop, but it didn’t ease the pressure I felt in my chest.
“Addison? Are you off the call?” I heard Asher ask, but his voice was distant and growing further away as he continued. “Addison? Oh, shit.” His voice was now a muffle in my ear.
“Breathe, baby. In and out,” he said as he cradled my head against his chest, his strong hand rubbing my back in a soothing motion. I tried to mimic his breathing with my own. Slowly the violent attack eased. “That’s it, breathe with me. In and out. In and out. Good.”
By the time my wits came about me, I had realized that we were sitting on the floor, Asher’s back against a lower cabinet as he cradled me.
“I’m okay,” I murmured, my voice hoarse from the sobs. “I promise. I’m okay.”
“What happened? Did he say something to you?”
“No. No, it’s fine. I guess the reality of leaving my job caught up to me, that’s all. I’m scared of what I’m going to do next.”
“Do you think he’ll adhere to the C and D?”
“I may have threatened him with a lawsuit if he didn’t. I guess I should get your lawyer’s number.”
“Naw, he’d be stupid to fight that. But I’d make sure it was taken care of regardless.”
“Shit. What am I going to do now, Asher?” I stared up at the man who wanted to have all the answers but was just as lost as I was.
“I have no idea, beautiful. But you’ll figure it out.”
On shaky legs I stood, Asher following suit. He walked over to the coffee table and grabbed his laptop, tucking it under his arm. Today he was wearing a white T-shirt with a red and black flannel shirt over it. With his ripped denim and beard, he looked more like a lumberjack than a rock star. I liked him this way too. Atleast if he was a lumberjack, I wouldn’t have to worry about a million other females vying for his attention.
As he headed back toward the mudroom, I grabbed my phone and went toward the solarium. I had so many favorite places in the house, but this room was at the top of my list. It was just so peaceful. I could imagine being a little girl in the room and having a tea party. It would be completely magical.
Sitting down on the small sofa brought back a slew of memories from just a week ago. I would never look at ice cream the same way again, that’s for sure.
I flipped my phone back and forth in my hand, then put off the inevitable phone call again, scrolling through some news sites and the social media website. I still hadn’t removed my profile. I could see how people could become addicted to the attention. It reminded me of the online version of my hometown’s Lady Busy Bee’s. They knew everything about everyone before anyone else. Just as I thought about them, I typed their name in the search bar and they came up with their own page. I clicked the like button and then immediately signed off.
“You can do it, Addison. It’s just your parents.” I continued with the mental pep talk as I queued up the video call and set up the green screen image of my bedroom. God, I felt like trash lying to them.
“Don’t answer. Don’t answer. Don’t answer,” I repeated over and over, but of course, by the fourth ring, Mom picked up. She looked beautiful and sun-kissed. Dad must have heard my ringtone and he peeked into the image over Mom’s shoulder.
“Hey, sweetie.”
“Hi, Mom. How was the trip?”
“Magical. Your father is quite the romantic.” They were sickeningly cute and still in love after all their years together, but I never wanted them to know that. Instead, I stuck out my tongue and pretended to gag.
“Y’all are gross, but I’m glad you had a nice time. Are you ready to go back on tour?”
“Your father is, but I am definitely ready for a break. Working on the road isn’t easy. Thank goodness for video conferencing.”
My mom began to go into detail about her spring line for the next year and my mind drifted off. I was busy thinking about my future, finding a job, saving money, and Asher. Always Asher.
“Sweetie, are you okay?” she asked and I jerked my attention back to the call.
“Yeah. Yeah,” I said. “I was just daydreaming, sorry.”
“Anyway, your father and I were wondering if you’d make it for the end of the tour. Their last show is in Asheville in March. We thought everyone could get together for Grandma Amy’s birthday.”
I definitely had time on my hands, so I readily agreed. Plus, I loved my Grandma Amy. She was the best.
“Well, I can tell that there is something up that you’re not ready to talk about, and believe me, I get it. Just know that I’m always here to listen, Addison. No matter what.”