I’d wiggled and tugged myself into a dress that I had bought for Halloween way back in college. I was supposed to be a flapper at the time, but it was a stretch. The dress was silver and had a tiny bit of fringe, but that was where the historic aesthetic ended. The low-cut front was partly see-through and covered in delicate beading, and the back mostly missing. It was gorgeous, but tight. I’d always been curvy, but apparently I’d gotten even curvier since I was twenty. My chest was popping out of the top, and my wider hips and ass made the dress ride up to nearly indecent heights. Paired with the matching stilettos, big hair, and excessive makeup, I looked like a shiny alien hooker.
Erin had loved it though. And admittedly, it was freeing, if not literally.
As the night wore on, I’d had to gently turn down more than a few guys who’d made advances. It was flattering, but I wasn’t up for it. First of all, if any of these guys were expecting me to look like this any other day of the year, they were going to be sorely disappointed. Secondly, although some were really hot, none wereRyan hot, and they just made me miss him more. I’d already decided to sit out the countdown, and keep my love life from getting any more complicated. I was having a blast with Erin, I didn’t need anything else. I didn’t even feel like a third wheel when her bartender snuck her away, and they made out in the corner. I was happy for her.
All night, as we moved throughout the room, bouncing between the dance floor, table, and bar, I’d keep getting a glimpse of someone that looked like Ryan. Every tall, dark-haired guy seemed to look like him from afar, and my pulse would spike each time. Then the guy would turn around and I’d get disappointed. It had happened more times than I cared to admit, and I blamed my drinks.
It was especially idiotic, because I knew exactly where he would be—the same exact place he spent every New Year’s Eve. On a couch with my brother.
Except, a little after ten thirty, I spotted someone familiar, and it wasn’t Ryan.
I poked Erin to get her attention. “Hey…am I drunk, or is that Jeremy over there?”
“Oh, it is! Awesome.” Erin waved him over enthusiastically. “Did you tell him to come?”
“Of course not. He never goes out on New Year’s, and even if he did, he’d be with his new girlfriend. Unless she’s the reason he’s here. I don’t see her, though.”
It took me an embarrassingly long time to connect the dots about what Jere’s sudden appearance might mean. I’d literally just been thinking about how he and Ryan spent every year together, and yet, for some insane reason, I didn’t immediately think to look for Ryan. So, when a group of random people shifted, and I got a clear look across the room, I gasped.
“Shit,” I whispered.
Erin, who had been looking at my brother, saw Ryan the same time I did.
“And Ryan is here too. I should have guessed. Those two are always together.” Erin grimaced, only aware that Ryan and I had always been adversaries, since I hadn’t told her what had happened at the cabin. “Sorry, April.”
“Uhm, yeah. It’s not ideal.” For so, so many reasons.
I had no idea what to say to Ryan, and I was afraid that in my current state I’d slip up and say something I shouldn’t. Or do something I shouldn’t, like throw myself at him and kiss him. And with my brother right there, it would be terrible. Of all the places to see him again, this was probably the worst.
It looked like he felt the same way about seeing me, because I could see that instead of walking straight up to us, they were having a heated conversation near the door. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them, wondering what it was about. How was Ryan explaining to my brother not wanting to be around me? Or was their argument about something else altogether? As I watched them, I was also wondering why they were even here at all. Had one of them known that I was here, and come intentionally, or was it an accident? I’d taken a few pictures with Erin earlier, and put them online, so it was possible they had seen them.
“Earth to April. What’s up? Why are so you fascinated by them?” Erin waved her hand in front of my face. “Aren’t you sick of them after a week in the cabin together?”
“Right. The cabin. Before they come over, I should probably tell you something,” I said quickly.
“Ooh, this sounds good,” Erin said, leaning closer to hear better over the music. “Tell me.”
“There was that big storm, and up in the mountains it was way worse. It was so bad that my parents flight got cancelled, and the roads were impassable. They didn’t make it up there until the day after Christmas. Neither did Jeremy.” The words came out in a rush.
“Oh no!” Her eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say anything before? So, you were alone up there the entire time? That must have been awful. And creepy.”
“I wasn’t entirely alone, no.” I said, glancing at Ryan once more.
Erin looked between us several times, her expression going from quizzical, to shocked, to elated. Even drunk, she was quick.
“Oh my god!” she exclaimed loudly. “You and Ryan—"
I slapped my hand over her mouth, cutting off her high pitched tone or else the entire bar would have heard her. When she was calmer, I pulled my hand away.
“Tell me that the two of you did the deed,” she said at a more reasonable level. “Please.”
I just nodded, and sipped my drink.
“You need to tell me everything you little wench. I meaneverything.” She hissed.
But the guys were finally heading our way, so I mouthed ‘later’ at her.
The closer Ryan got, the faster my heart started beating. I had no idea how this was going to go. How he would play it. How I would, either, for that matter. I was about to find out though.