“Because I trust you.”
Those words floored me. I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, needing to touch her in some way, no matter how small. I needed to connect with her and to feel connected to her. “You’ve waited this long, Jessica. Surely you can wait a little longer for a guy to come along that you love.”
I wanted her to say no, that she couldn’t wait, even though that was selfish of me. She should have someone who would love her. Not someone like me. I would want to dominate her.
“Actually . . . I’ve waited a long time for you,” she said, surprising me.
“What?”
“I’ve wanted you for the past year. You’ve always been it for me. I thought that could never happen, that you were out of my reach and off limits, but now… now, we have a chance.”
I wasn’t sure what to do with this information. I had no idea she’d liked me all this time. I thought back, trying to discern if there were any signs of her feelings. She was always quick to help me, going over and above what any other assistant had ever done. I thought it was because she was keen to prove herself. Now, I was wondering if there was a different reason entirely.
Telling me how she felt about me was like putting a flame to oil. Emotions burned through me, ones I wanted to explore. Because if I was being honest too, I’d admit I’ve desired her, as well. The only thing that stopped me from crossing lines that couldn’t be uncrossed was the fact that she was my employee.
But clearly I leapt over that line tonight when I bought and paid for her virginity. There was no going back. We were different people compared to the start of the night. Our relationship was forever changed.
“Jessica…” I whispered her name, afraid to say it. “I’m too old for you. I’m your boss. This isn’t right.”
Even as I said the words I wanted to take them back. What did I care about age differences? What did I care about her being my employee? I’d never kept to the rules, but then I’d never crossed business with pleasure either. I kept my sexual proclivities separate from my professional life.
No one, apart from Archer and possibly Jessica’s friend Kyra, knew I went to the club. No one was aware of the things I liked to do in that club. I didn’t think Jessica would be able to handle all I would want to do to her. She’d never look at me the same way. I would terrify her.
But the thought of having her beneath me while I pushed into her slick heat was thrilling.
I craved that.
And the more I thought about it the more I needed it.
She gripped my hands in hers, her eyes filled with promise and hope that I didn’t want to dash.
“What if I’ve been waiting for this sexy older man to notice me?” She breathed the words, her eyes never leaving mine.
Fuck, I had a lot of self-control but she was pushing me past the point I could withstand. How was I supposed to fight this?
“Is that what you’ve been doing?” I asked.
Jessica glanced down at our joined hands. “It’s not a big deal.” She was wrong. It was a huge deal. “You never noticed me like that anyway.”
I released her hands and hooked a finger under her chin. “I noticed you. Believe me, I noticed.”
Another rush of heat rose in her cheeks, turning them a beautiful shade of pink. “You did?”
“I’m not blind,” I told her. “You’re stunning, but whether I want you or not isn’t the issue here. You should wait to be with someone you love. Your first time should be special.”
“Was yours?”
“No it wasn’t and I regretted that for a long time.”
“What if this is my only chance with you?”
“Jessica…” I breathed her name.
She might be innocent, but I wondered if she knew what she was doing to me right now. I wondered if she realized the sway she had over me, the ability to break me down completely.
Sitting this close to her and not kissing her was fucking torture. I wanted to claim her mouth, claim her. I wanted to fix her problems and make her smile again.
It was taking all my resolve not to take something that should never have been on the table for me in the first place.