CHAPTER1
Jessica
There were days when I felt trapped in my life. This morning was one of those times. I stared down at the letter wondering how I was going to pay the amount owed. It wasn’t a huge amount. It wasn’t even an unreasonable one, but on my budget it might as well have been a million bucks.
I was already a month behind on rent and the utilities all seemed to be coming in at the same time. If I was being honest I’d admit I needed help, but there was no one to offer a hand. I was on my own and I didn’t really understand how completely alone I was until this moment.
I stuffed the letter in my purse, forcing my tears not to fall and slipped my feet into my pumps. The obvious answer was for Krissy to get a job and help pay her way, but my sister hadn’t managed to keep a single job for more than a week in her entire life.
Thinking about Krissy made my eyes slide in the direction of her room.
I hadn’t seen her for a week, which wasn’t unusual for Krissy. She disappeared all the time. She’d show up eventually, dirty and needing a good meal, usually coming down from whatever high she was on. No matter how many times I begged her to calm down and take things easy she never did. I was worried the drugs were going to kill her.
My sister took the whole good and bad twin thing a little too seriously.
Krissy had always been wild. Even growing up she had pushed every single boundary our parents put in place. She would never do as she was told, so I didn’t know why I expected her to change now.
These past few years though her behavior had moved from wild to downright dangerous. I was scared for my twin. She had a reckless streak that made me fear one day she’d go too far and I’d lose her.
That was part of the reason why our parents cut her off.
They were tired of watching her self-destruct.
I understood it. I really did. I loved Krissy more than anyone, but it was hard to watch someone you love throw their life away. Krissy excelled at that, but I could never turn my back on her.
I don’t know how our parents could.
They hated who she was. She embarrassed them and no matter how many times she was punished Krissy never changed or amended her behavior.
In many ways, I admired her for standing up to them, for pushing the crazy boundaries they put in place. I never could. I was the good girl. The twenty-three year old virgin. I never put a foot wrong forward, but despite that I was still punished for Krissy’s messes.
Even so, I chose to stick by my sister. She was my twin and I couldn’t walk away, even if I wanted to. As a result my parents severed all ties with me too.
Sometimes, I wondered if I really knew what I was getting into when I sided with her. Keeping my sister out of trouble was a full time job—one that didn’t pay.
I didn’t regret my choice. It was crazy to say that considering the shit she put me through, but it wasn’t her fault.
She had a disease. The worst one.
Addiction was no joke.
I glanced down at my watch. I was going to be late for the job that did keep a roof over our heads.
I grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter and rushed for the door.
During the bus ride to work, I found myself scrolling job ads on my phone. I worked full time in an office, but I could maybe fit in a second job at a bar in the evening.
Who needed sleep, right?
It would take some pressure off and maybe help shift some of the mounting bills.
By the time I reached the stop near the office, I was already tired. This was going to be a long day.
I headed into the building and used the elevator to get to the floor I worked on. My office was bright, modern, and classy. I’d been working here for more than a year as assistant to the CEO. I loved my job—and my gorgeous, hot boss made my days a little brighter.
I placed my purse on my desk and popped my head around Mr. Black’s door. His office was empty. I made it in before him, which was always a good thing. I didn’t like it if he needed me and I wasn’t here.
I moved back to my desk and loaded up my computer. There was a stack of messages waiting to be dealt with and I needed to organize Mr. Black’s diary for the day, making sure he had all the documents and notes he needed for his meetings. It was a routine I was more than used to and I did it on autopilot.