I feel like stone by the time I sit in an old chair with metal armrests across the table from four tired-looking lawyers. An older style clock ticks directly above the door, and my heart times its beat to its rhythm. Rain pelts at murky windows that look like they haven’t been replaced since the early sixties. My nose tries to push the musty smell away, but it doesn’t work, and it makes my stomach roll even more. My attention is pulled to one of the male lawyers. My gaze drops to a coffee stain on his tie, and I silently describe his appearance to try to help ground myself. He looks just like the man with the red stapler in the Office Space movie. I can tell he’s hungry, as he keeps eyeing his partner’s Snickers bar.
“Miss Miller,” Morgan, the lead lawyer, says, pulling my attention to the present. She fusses with the paperwork in front of her. I remember this woman from the last time I was here. She’s a perfectionist, and I want to lean over and mess up her meticulously lined up files and her pen sitting parallel. “I need you to understand that we can’t have a repeat of what happened the last time you were in the court.” She peers disapprovingly over the ridge of her glasses. My tongue presses to the roof of my mouth, trying like hell not to lash out at her. I hear Cole shift his body. I’m so tuned in to him, I know he wants to say something, but he won’t…yet. “I understand it was hard for you, but—”
“Don’t,” I hiss in a small voice, but it’s enough to shut her up for a moment.
“Miss Miller, if you want this testimony to count, you need to keep yourself calm. The judge will not tolerate an outburst. All it shows to the jury is that you’re a loose cannon.”
“Is that why he got a double life sentence with no chance of parole?” I ask, cocking my head to the side. “Seems to me my outburstandthe evidence proved to the jury that Denton is a monster, and he got what he deserved, so let’s try this again, Miss Morgan.” Her thumb starts clicking the top of her expensive pen. “I want five minutes alone with Lynn before I testify against her tomorrow.”
“That’s not possible,” she states.
I stand and grab my bag. Cole jumps to his feet. I expect him to try to stop me, but he doesn’t.
“Wait,” Morgan calls, rubbing her head, “just sit for a moment.”
I see Cole’s mouth turn up, but when he turns around, he’s straight-faced again.God, he’s good.
“It will take some time.” One of the other lawyers starts to argue, but she raises her bitchy hand, and he backs off.
“Morgan,” the lawyer closest to Cole says, “they’ll never go for it.”
“Humphrey, when I want your input, I’ll ask for it,” Morgan snaps, rubbing her head harder. Humphrey flushes up his neck.Poor guy.
“Look,” she closes her eyes, “give me an hour, and I’ll see what I can do.”
“Fine.” I start to turn but stop and lean back over the table, snatching the Snickers bar and placing it in front of her. “Just saying.”
I see Humphrey cover his mouth, clearly getting my joke about the commercial.‘You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.’Cole reaches for my arm and nearly pulls me out of the room. Once the door is closed, he bursts out laughing.
“I can’t believe you did that,” he croaks. “Oh, god, I wish Mark was here. He would have loved that.” I smile, wishing he was too. His comic relief would be welcome right now. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”
Two hours later, Humphrey is sent to find us in the cafeteria. He tells me after pulling in many favors, the judge still will not allow it, as Lynn has been violent since she’s been in jail. I’m disappointed, but I get over it. I’ll see her tomorrow, and I’ll get to say my piece then, with or without the judge’s help.
We head back up to that horrible room and spend the next several hours getting briefed. I must say Morgan is a little nicer this time around. Guess the Snickers bar worked.
The briefing lasts until evening, and we go down to the restaurant.
I stay lost in my thoughts throughout dinner. The guys try to engage me, but I am off in childhood memories with Lynn.
“Merry Christmas, Lynnie.” I hold out a little white box and grin.
She snatches it out of my hand, ripping the bow in two. “Aww.” She pulls out a chain with a half of a jagged heart dangling from the center. Lynn loves hearts.
“See?” I pull the other half out from under my shirt. “Not just friends—”
“But sisters too,” she finishes, admiring the necklace in the mirror. “Love you, Savi.”
“Love you too, Lynnie.”
I keep trying to pinpoint the spot when she turned on me. It’s a deep ache that burns in my stomach when I think about her. How can someone imprint so strongly on your life one moment, and the next hire someone to kill you? I feel like I’m in a movie. Did our time together mean nothing to her? Surely, there’s got to be a time when she loved me like the sister I felt she was, the way I did her.
I can’t eat, and I don’t touch my water. I’m so lost I hardly feel Cole help me out of my chair and walk us upstairs to our hotel room. He lets me know he and Frank have some more to discuss, so he’ll be in the other room, and suggests I take a bath.
“Then get some sleep, baby.” He leans in, kissing my lips and giving my belly a rub. I nod, sitting on the couch staring at a black screen that stares back at me.
“Do you solemnly affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” The clerk stares with piercing gray eyes, and a chill runs up my spine.
“I do,” I say weakly, feeling my voice run like hell in the opposite direction. I felt more confident when I testified against Denton, but Lynn…I sit a little straighter and glance at the jury. Nine men, three women, one wearing a horrendous cat sweater she must have made herself because no one in their right mind would try to market it.