Chapter Twenty-Two
The Next Night
Savannah
I feel Sue slip off the bed. Her steps are quiet as she shuts the door behind her. She only leaves when she thinks I’m asleep. I open my eyes and discover it’s still dark out. My head is pounding, but I don’t care. I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want anyone with me except Cole. Keith has permanently taken up residence on the couch in Cole’s room, saying he won’t leave until I do.
I roll over, hugging Cole’s pillow and breathing in his scent. I sob, not just because I lost the one person I love more than anything, but because I will never hold our baby. My only comfort is that Cole will. I never believed in heaven or hell, but right now I just want to picture them together, happy, and waiting for me to join them. I imagine Cole holding our little one. Telling him how much I love him, kissing his soft, deep-brown hair, and looking into his sweet, dark eyes—so much like his father’s. I reach for the Army teddy bear and bring it to my chest. I feel so empty, so lost. I’ve felt pain before, but that was nothing compared to this. How am I supposed to move forward when everything in my body is telling me I can’t? I’m over this life; I want a redo.
I focus my eyes on something taped to the back of Cole’s nightstand. I shift, pretending to pull the cover over me. I see what it is and feel like fate is finally on my side. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I make a silent promise to myself for the second time in my life that I will make it back to my family. There’s a difference between living and surviving, but this, right here, is neither. I lean up slowly to look at Keith; he’s fast asleep. I reach for the handle, slipping it out of the holster, my hand slick with tears. Still clutching the teddy bear in one hand, I raise the pistol to my temple with the other. For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like I’m at peace.
Major Mark Lopez – 01:52 A.M.
Mark sits at Cole’s desk, sipping his brother’s brandy. He’s finally gotten his hands on the DVD the Cartels sent. He had to convince Frank to let him have it before he left in the morning. He feels strongly they are missing something—he just doesn’t know what.
He presses play and watches the tape again and again, until something finally catches his eye. He backs up the tape and watches frame by frame. “What?” Mark whispers in disbelief, setting his drink down so sharply it splashes over his hand. He shifts forward and watches the last scene before Cole slumps to the floor.
“Holy fucking shit!”
The End