Then just as I became comfortable and felt a sense of belonging, my entire world disappeared. Nothing was left of you but a picture and a broken heart.
The only way I could cope with my loss was to put you in a box and seal it up tight in the fear that, over the years, if I slipped in a moment of weakness and thought of you, I wouldn’t be damaged.
Moving on was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
Then life brought you back into my world.
I was tested, and I failed.
You chewed me up, swallowed me down, and spat me back out.
I thought I was doing everything right.
I thought my loyalty was enough.
I thought I was enough.
I never asked for this. I am not this.
But I know as I’m sitting here writing these words that this is it for us.
This is where we are supposed to say goodbye.
I can’t—won’t go through that again.
Instead, I will go.
Thank you for my memories. They will always remind me of what family should mean.
I’ll be all right and will do what I do best—survive.
Because I’ve put you back in the box.
Because some dreams are just not meant to be.
Once yours,
Sienna Giovanna
Formally known as
Alessia Coppola
Once I finished reading the note, I handed it to Mama. Her body language and glance told me to listen. One of the new soldiers was on the phone reporting to Nonna that there was a note left from Sienna. I gave Mama a nod of understanding as I tucked the necklace into my pocket and headed for the front door. Papa, who I hadn’t seen since the whole episode with Sienna, had just returned, looking darker than I’d ever seen before.
“Papa?” I stepped in his way, blocking him from the door.
“Deal with the warehouse then come see me right after,” he growled.
“All right.” I wanted to press more, but the clock was ticking. I headed for the car.
“Elio?” Papa called after me.
“Yeah?”
He rubbed his bottom lip and hesitated. I could see the storm inside him was brewing strong. “Watch your back.”
“Understood.”