“No,” he made a sad face, “her father was killed.”
Suddenly, her words,can you mourn for someone you’ve never met,came rushing back to me.
“Where is this coming from, Elio?” Francesco asked.
I wanted to explain, but something held me back. Maybe Nonna was right, maybe Papa was too soft with Sienna. He always had been right from when they met.
“Boss?” Donatello was in the doorway of the living room. He nodded out of respect to my family. “My apologies for the interruption.”
“Out with it.” I waved my hand, welcoming the change in topic.
“I just got word that Jacob Raine’s been poking around the New York dockyard and talking to people he shouldn’t be about you and yours.”
I glanced at Papa, who gave me a nod. It was time to deal with Jacob Raine once and for all. I could feel my excitement brewing at the idea of a good hunt and the ensuing bloodshed. If I focused very carefully, I could feel Zazzero clawing his way back to the surface.
I packed my bag and waited long into the wee hours of the morning. I sipped a drink and tried to be patient, but Sienna didn’t come back.
I eyed her journals and wondered which one held the heartbreak of me leaving without a trace or perhaps which one held a secret. I pushed Nonna’s words out of my head and leaned forward to slide out the third journal from the top and rested it on my leg. My thumb fiddled with the cover, wondering if I wanted to know the truth this way…
“Trust is everything, grandson.” Nonna held my hand in hers. “If there is the tiniest shred of doubt, there’s something wrong.”
I opened the book and scanned the first page.
Wyatt left me another meal outside the bar tonight, covered in tinfoil. I’m glad he knew the rats and flies would attempt to feast before me and had made sure they couldn’t. He’s kind to me, but I couldn’t help staying hidden in the shadows as I ate the bread. Food still has no taste, colors are still dull, and I’m still completely hollow. My heart beats lonely inside me.
I used to wonder where he was all the time, but it consumed me.
Was he okay? Had he moved on? Did he ever think of me?
Now I let my imagination paint me a better picture, one of a man looking for his lost love. But still, every night I say goodnight to the stars, and when I wake up and take a breath, feeling the sun on my face, I hope that somewhere, somehow, he is doing the same. That he can feel me.
I snapped the book closed, squeezed my eyes shut, and felt guilty that it had come to this. I would go through them more later, but right now her words cut deep. Yet, on some level, it made me feel a little better reading her words and knowing she’d felt the same way I’d felt at that time. Tossing the book aside, I leaned forward to stare out the window.
The light in her bedroom at the Hill House never turned on, and I wondered what she was up to. I could have gone to look for her, and maybe I should have, but I also wanted to let the darkness seep into my veins to be ready to deal with Jacob. I dwelled on every inch of the conversation we’d had and thought of him as he carved his initial intomywoman’s skin, touching and hurting what wasmine.
Minute by minute, I sank back into my old self, the person I had become after I had left Sicily without her. The tunnel vision, the racing heartbeat, the manic thinking of one thing only—to kill. I was born into this life, and although we presented ourselves as reserved and classy to the outside world, beneath it all we had learned to be ruthless. Now, I would honor my roots with Raine’s blood on my hands.
The next morning, I unfolded from the bedroom chair, grabbed my bag, and headed up to the Hill House where the guys were prepared to leave with me.
“Morning, boss.” Vinni poured me a cup of coffee and tried to gauge my mood. There wasn’t one; I was on autopilot.
“Good morning, boys.” Mama floated around the kitchen making small talk with Donte. “Be sure to eat a good breakfast before you leave.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Niccola shoved a pastry in his mouth.
“When you see Sienna,” Mama stirred her hot tea, “could you please send her to see me?”
I nodded once and went back to reading emails on my phone.
“Don’t you three look sharp.” Mariano strolled in. For once, he didn’t look like he was up all night long. He made my eye twitch. “Whose funeral are we crashing today?” He looked around when no one bit at his tasteless humor. “Anyway, where’s Sienna? I want to take her to the beach today. Her in a string bikini makes my mouth water.”
I slammed my cup down and stood towering over the man I once considered my best friend. Mama caught my attention, and her eyes begged me to calm down.
“I need a moment, then we’re leaving.” I couldn’t curb my murderous tone as I hurried down the hallway and up the stairs to my bedroom. “Sienna.” The room was empty. I immediately tried her room, but the door was locked. Using my key, I opened the door to find Sienna packing a suitcase.
“Where are you going?” My voice made her jump and drop her shirt.
“I’m going home.”