“Do you have any photos of her?” I was so desperate for something from my past.
“Just one.” She cleared her throat. “I wish I had more, but I didn’t have much time.”
“Why did we leave in such a hurry?”
“Sienna—”
“Please,” I closed my eyes and felt the burn of tears coming on, “you may have the painful memories of knowing everything, but I have the painful hole from where those memories should be. I know that something big happened. I know this because a mother doesn’t just abandon her daughter then show up randomly half a lifetime later. I’m not asking for it all right now. I’m only asking for something to ease the lonely ache that grows inside of me.”
“I wish you would stop saying I abandoned you, Sienna,” she finally said as we continued deeper into the field. “I thought you were safe. I was led to believe you were safe. You had a roof over your head, food, clothes. I wanted you with me, but I couldn’t, so I made sure you at least had all you needed at the time.”
I stopped in my tracks, shocked by what she said.
“All I needed?” I wanted to shout, but I also didn’t want to have another fight. “What I needed was my mother. I needed to know who I was and where I came from. I feel like a blank canvas with the edges all smudged and pinched at the seams. When I was a child, there were times I could barely hold it together. Then you finally show up with the key to my past and judge me for who I have surrounded myself with.”
“I’m sorry, Sienna.”
“I don’t want your apologies, Elenora, I want you to be my mother.” That hit home for her because her mouth shut and her chin quivered. “Give me something,” I whispered. “Prove to me you want this.”
“I want to. I really do, but there is so much, and I need time to figure out how to protect you.” Her eyes narrowed in on mine.
I felt like I might just open Pandora’s Box and I wouldn’t be able to stop it.
She hesitated. “You’re looking for the truth about your past from me, Sienna, but perhaps you should open your eyes and look to the people you now call your family.” She slowly took her hands and placed them on my shoulders and turned me toward the Hill House. “Quiet secrets lay in places where you might think you’re safe. Perhaps with those you love.” An icy chill raced up my spine.
“Sienna.” Niccola suddenly stepped out from between a row of sunflowers, as if appearing from another dimension. He eyed my mother with a cold expression. “Wyatt’s looking for you.”
I stared at him for a moment, trying to gather myself. “Okay, I’ll be right there.” I turned to my mother. “I need to go.”
As I began to make my way to the house, I felt a strong urge to look up. When I did, I stopped short as a man, dressed in a gray suit, stood close to the wall. He was watching me. I couldn’t bring myself to smile or say anything to him as I brushed by him. I just blinked, startled by the intensity of his stare. The lights from the party caught the pin on his lapel, and I squinted to see a gold crown. I tried to shake off the unwanted chill both from him and from my mother’s words.
“You look pale,” Wyatt commented as I joined him. “Are you all right?”
“Never better.” I shook my head at him, not wanting to get into it right now.
As the night went on and the world’s biggest birthday cake was devoured, I found myself out by the pool on one of the big puffy lounge chairs with a few friends of Vinni’s. Wyatt was laughing so hard at one of the guys he was turning red while I savored the moment that my best friend got to meet, live, and party with some of the most important people in my life.
“Pssp, Nic!” Vinni raced out of the guest house with his shirt open. “There’s a girl in my bed.”
“Yes, there is.” He laughed.
“I didn’t do that.” He suddenly grinned ridiculously at Niccola. “Did you do that?”
“Happy Birthday, little brother.”
“Best brother ever.” He mauled Niccola’s head. “Well, I should get back.”
“Good plan.”
We all laughed when Vinni nearly missed the door and clipped his shoulder on the frame.
“Well, Vinni’s got company tonight. What about you, Sienna?” One of the guys, who had been really nice, leaned forward.
“Nope.” Niccola shook his head. “Not happening, man. Nope, nope, stop talking.”
“Why?” He shrugged. “She’s hot, and she said she was single earlier.”
“This is so awkward.” Wyatt covered his mouth.