Yael
Harris and I found a small table in the lobby, slightly away from the buzz of activity around the bar. We settled across from each other. Well, he settled. I was decidedly unsettled, and it wasn’t because I was sitting across from my ex.
That kiss.
It had been brief, but my toes had curled. I could have kicked myself with my curled toes too since Alex’s lips on mine had been nothing more than a show for Harris.
“How are you?” he started.
“Good.” I laid one hand on top of the other on the lacquered wood table. “Didn’t we cover this this morning?”
He chuckled, leaning back in his tufted leather chair. “Guess we did.” His blue eyes traveled over me in a familiar perusal. “You look absolutely incredible, El. You’ve gotten more gorgeous over the last few years, which I did not think was possible. But look at you.” He shook his head in a way that seemed rueful.
This was what I had wanted: to make him choke on his regret for dumping me. I’d never want this man back, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t revel in the fact that he still found me attractive.
Plus, maybe I reveled in his compliments a little more than I normally would since Alex couldn’t even bother to tell me I looked nice without prompting, and even then, it had been like pulling teeth. I didn’t need a man to validate me, that was for sure, but couldn’t he throw me a little itty-bitty bone? A “nice tits” would have sufficed.
“Thank you, Har. You look all grown up.” His eyes were sharper, his body honed beneath his exquisitely tailored button-up and slacks. We’d been twenty-two the last time we were together, looking toward the future. Now, at twenty-six, all we could do was look back.
He threaded his fingers together over his stomach, the tic of his jaw betraying his seemingly relaxed pose.
“I’m surprised you came to this,” he finally said.
“Me too. I wasn’t going to, but then I ran into Allie and she guilted me, so…” I shrugged, as if it was that simple.
“So here you are,” he filled in.
“Here we are. Alex loves this area, so he pushed for us to come.” If I was living a lie tonight, then the dragon inside me would be breathing fire into it.
“Ah, Alex Murray. Jamie’s a big fan of Unrequited.”
“I know. He fangirled.” I swirled my drink around my glass. “And you?”
“Can’t say I am.” He leaned in, his elbows on the table. “I have to say, I had a hard time believing you were a real couple, after everything. But then I saw you outside, and yeah, can’t deny that.”
I guessed Alex’s kiss had looked as convincing as it felt.
“Why would I make up a boyfriend?” I tilted my head, the very picture of innocence and consternation. “That’s a very strange accusation.”
“It’s the specific boyfriend, El. I know you and—”
I held up my hand. “Knew. You knew me.”
“Right.” He gave a sharp nod. “I knew you, and you hated that guy. His whole style, the skateboarding, it all made you cringe.”
“Now, that,” I jabbed my finger at the words he’d just said, “makes me cringe. My twenty-one-year old self was a snobby bitch. I like to think I’m slightly more evolved now. How about you? Have you evolved?”
He reached up to sweep his hair back, but stopped short, like he’d just remembered his hair was too short to sweep back anymore. Those days were long gone.
“I have no idea. Did I need to evolve? I’ve always known who I am and where I was headed.”
I tipped my chin in agreement. “That’s true, you did. So, you’re doing well, working at your dad’s firm?”
He nodded, then glanced away, the telltale muscle in his jaw ticking away. “It’s crazy that I always assumed we’d be married by now. And yet here we are, with other people, at my brother’s wedding.”
I thought I would be angry when we finally got around to this line of conversation, but I wasn’t. Not anymore. Curious would best describe how I felt. I hadn’t been the best girlfriend, but I’d been a good one. And though I couldn’t picture myself tied to the man across from me for life, back then, I would have leaped at the chance to marry him. Perhaps we hadn’t been as starry eyed as Allie and Jamie were for each other, or as adorable as Michaela and Mo were, or anywhere near as smoldering as Maeve and Santi, but every couple was different, right?
“If you recall, you dumped me, Harris, and without much explanation, then you disappeared from my life.”