Like a magnet, my fingers were drawn to the tiny diamond stud on my right nostril. It had been three months since I’d gotten it pierced on a whim, and I loved it even more than I had then. My father, on the other hand, upon seeing it for the first time, had left me sitting by myself in his living room and hadn’t come back for a full hour.
Since then, I’d chosen to let his comments about my self-mutilation slide. We weren’t going to ever agree, and I wasn’t backing down.
I picked up my menu, scanning it, even though I always ordered the same thing. My dad did too. We came here weekly. Had since I’d started working at Good Music last year.
Dad put his menu down. “Are you still seeing Simon?”
“Casually. I don’t know if it’s going anywhere.” I shrugged. “He’s busy and so am I, so we’re taking it slow.”
I’d been on a handful of dates with Simon over the last month. He was a lot more interesting in person than on paper, and I enjoyed the time we spent together. He just…didn’t light me on fire.
“Slow is good, for now. From what you’ve told me, he seems like the type of man you should be seeing. Good family, nice looking, solid career. You could do worse, Adelaide.”
A laugh burst out of me. “Ihavedone worse. Much, much worse.”
Dad’s mouth twitched. “I know that very well. Remember the boy…what was his name?” He snapped his fingers. “Jacob. He had a chronic nose-wiping habit. I’m surprised his finger didn’t become attached to his nose as often as he touched it.”
I rolled my eyes at his mention of the one boy I introduced him to in high school. “You made him nervous.”
He peered at me from beneath his bushy brows. “Are you trying to tell me he didn’t do that when it was just the two of you?”
I shrugged. “I made him nervous too.”
A rumble that was something like a chuckle sprung from him. “Without a doubt. It took me two solid years of being around your mother before I stopped being constantly nervous. You have the same way about you.”
My gaze fell to my menu again, but I couldn’t stop the warmth spreading across my chest. I couldn’t get enough of my dad talking about my mom.
We ordered our lunch and talked about work. My job as an office assistant wasn’t anything exciting, but Dad pressed me for details about my coworkers. I guess he was technically all our bosses, but he was so far above us on the ladder, we were ants to him. Still, he took an interest in all facets of his business, even the peons at his recording studios.
I took a drink of my iced tea, then wiped my mouth with my napkin. Lunch was almost through, and I hadn’t brought up the topic I’d been meaning to.
“I was speaking to Brian, one of the staff producers. He said I could do a trial apprenticeship with him in the studio. Obviously, it would be after my normal work hours, and unpaid, but he’d teach me about recording and—”
“No, Adelaide.” Dad straightened his cuffs and glanced around for the waitress. “Where is she? I have a meeting in twenty minutes.”
“Dad.” I pressed my fingers into his knuckles. “Before you say no—”
He turned his hand over and squeezed my fingers. “I already said no. You don’t belong in a studio with musicians. If your position isn’t fulfilling, we’ll move you to a different area—behind a desk. Anything else is out of the question.”
My heart plummeted. I hadn’t expected to be shut down so soundly. “But…why?”
He blinked at me, his scowl deepening. “I have always let you follow your desires, and they are but many. You can’t say otherwise. When you chose not to go to college, I didn’t complain. You modeled instead. And when you decided to quit that, I kept my opinions to myself. When you asked for a job at Good Music, I arranged that for you. But now you’re asking to become involved with the product—the music—and taking the time of one of my employees to train you. If I believed you would truly stick this out…” He shook his head. “Even if I believed that, I’d still say no. Producing music is not in your future. It’s not what I want for you, and I won’t have any part of it. I’ll be reminding all the production staff at GM you’re not to be involved in that sector.”
This was one of those times I hated my dad. My hands balled into fists under the table, and I bit my tongue so hard, I tasted copper.
“What I want doesn’t count for anything?” My chin quivered exactly once before I got it under control. Dad didn’t respond to tears anyway.
“Of course it does, but you’re twenty-three and have your whims. It’s my duty as your father to curb those whims with reality. There’s no need to get upset.” He cuffed my chin, conveying he saw the quivering and was not moved in the least. “You’ll get over this desire in a month or two. But you will let me know if the position you’re in now is boring you. Since you skipped college, I want you learning by doing.”
“My job is fine,” I pushed out. “I’m learning a lot.”
I was learning that I wanted to be in the creative side of the business. I didn’t want to sit at a desk for the rest of my life. I wanted more than the role I’d been slotted into.
In one lunch, my father squashed all of that. I might one day have more than I had now, but it would be more of what I didn’t want and never what I did.
By the time I got back to my office building, I was both bummed out and fired up. Some of my foul mood receded when I spotted Wren back in her rightful place. Short, with coppery hair and huge eyes, she was a ray of sunshine. We’d latched on to each other during a failed girls’ night out Natalie had entrapped us into and had been friends since.
I stopped at her desk. “Hey.”