Wren
Iwas...restless.
I should have been content. And in a way, I was. Callum and I had spent the night and a good portion of the morning in each other's arms. He loved me like I’d never been loved.
That was huge. Vital. I wish I could say it was everything, but it wasn’t.
I was still uneasy about what had gone down at the party. His reaction had stirred something in the back of my mind I didn’t quite grasp. It wasn’t until he walked out his door to pick up breakfast for us that I really examined my doubts.
His presence was consuming, and part of me wondered if that was purposeful. If he never let me go, how could I take a step back and really look at our circumstances?
I hated that I was having doubts. My love for Callum was so deep, it had settled in my bones. It wasn’t something that would go away. I knew that from trying to shove it in a box the past three and a half years. I hadn’t been able to move on then, and I knew it would be impossible now. That was why I hated these doubts.
With a sigh, I picked up his laptop and turned it on. I hadn’t read the emails he had sent me every year, and it seemed like now might be the time to do that. I needed that lifeline in the moment to remind me who we were together. Who we’d always been.
His screen was a chaos of icons, and it made me smile. Callum’s apartment was so spare, there was hardly anything in it, so it surprised me to see his busy screen. But it was him, and I liked him a lot.
I found the icon with my name after searching for a moment. I dragged the cursor to it, but something else caught my eye.
A folder with the name of the private investigation firm my neighbor Jackie worked for. That niggle in the back of my mind grew. I couldn’t stop myself from clicking on it.
Immediately, I wished I hadn’t.
Bile rose in my throat.
My name was everywhere. Dates, times, locations, reports on my life. I could only skim the words, but they went back three years. Three years! My eyes blurred with tears. My stomach churned. I didn’t understand it, but I hated it. God, I hated it. So much, I tossed the laptop to the ground and leaped away from it like it was a cockroach skittering across my kitchen counters.
I was in my pajamas, but I didn’t stop.Go. Run. Escape.
I grabbed my purse, stuffed my feet in my shoes, threw on my coat. Then, I was gone. Racing down the elevator, through the lobby, into the harsh winter morning.
I bent in half on the sidewalk, half blind with panic. I couldn’t stay here, in front of Callum’s building, not when he’d be back any minute. I had to get out of here. My home was safe. I needed to be there, to think, to try to understand and wrap my mind around what I had seen. What Callum had done. What he’d been doing for three years without my knowledge.
My legs moved swiftly once I decided where I was going. I huddled in my coat, eyes on the ground, and plowed through the bitter wind. It felt good, even as it sliced at my skin. It woke me up, cleared my head, helped me order my thoughts.
By the time I’d arrived on my block, my plans had changed. Instead of going to my house, I knocked on the door beside it. Aunt Jackie answered a moment later, ushering me in without questioning my appearance.
She smoothed her hands over the sides of my hair. “You’re a mess, baby.”
I nodded, my eyes watering. “I feel it.”
“There has to be a story that led you to knock on my door looking like a ghost. You want to tell me?”
I nodded again. “Do you think I could sit down for a minute?” I was all kinds of wobbly now that I’d stopped moving.
She jumped back and motioned for me to walk ahead of her. “Come in, come in. You want coffee?”
“Yeah.” I plopped my butt on her couch. “I think I need it.”
“Okay. You wait here. I’ll be right back.”
My phone had been vibrating nonstop the last ten minutes. I knew it was Callum freaking out over my absence. The last thing I wanted was for him to come here and pound on my door, demanding answers, and that was the first thing he’d do.
I scanned over his panicked messages without taking in the words, then I typed out a succinct reply.
Me:I’m home and safe. I don’t want you coming here. We will talk, but I need time. If you come to my house and upset Ez or Jenny, that answer will change. I need you to respect that. I will be in touch soon.
His reply was immediate. He’d obviously found the laptop and knew why I’d left.