She swiveled her body around so her head was nestled on my chest. “And I wouldn’t want you if you weren’t so protective and caring.” She tapped my collarbone. “I’ve just got to toughen you up so you don’t lose your shit the next time around. Because there will be a next time, and I want you there with me.”
“Baby girl, I’m half seriously thinking of building a time machine so I can drag your little arse out of mosh pits you went into when you were eighteen. If you think I won’t be by your side now, you haven’t been paying attention.” With a sigh, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her temple. “I’m sorry I spanked you.”
“I’m not. I love when stern Ronan wants to play.” She propped herself up and pursed her lips into a heart. “Are you okay?”
I stared at her for a long time, probably too long, but she was patient, letting me drink my fill of her sinfully perfect mouth, sky-blue eyes, and every single beautiful thing about her.
“You managed to calm me down by laughing at me.” I ran a hand over her hair. “Can’t say that’s ever happened before.”
“Stick with me, honey bunny. I have many talents.” She pressed her hands to my cheeks and kissed my mouth hard. “Hold on, let me change so I can snuggle with you. Don’t move.”
That was a joke, because my goddamn knee was throbbing, but I also had no desire to move while Iris flitted about the room like a fairy, opening drawers and smiling at me over her shoulder. Then she took off her dress, giving me a fine view of her round arse, pink from my spanking, and the tree spanning her whole back. I held my breath until she slipped on a tank and a pair of flannel boxers.
She grabbed the peas from my knee, telling me she’d be right back with a fresh bag, and I blew out a long, rough breath, pressing on my desperate dick. The slightest movement sent an electric shock of pain, so fucking my woman like she needed to be was out of the question. I would be mind-over-mattering myself into feeling better as soon as possible, though.
Somewhere in the apartment, music started playing, and a minute later, Iris danced into the room, swaying her hips. She held a bag of mixed vegetables in one hand and a lit joint in the other.
“This is for you.” She laid the cold bag on my knee and took a puff of the thick joint. “And this is for you too.”
I hadn’t toked in years, but I took it from her gratefully, inhaling smoke into my lungs until they burned and slowly releasing it. Iris was there to catch it, breathing it in. With my hand on her hip, I guided her to climb on the bed and straddle my stomach. It wasn’t where I really wanted her, but it would have to do.
We took turns, passing the J back and forth, breathing in each other’s exhalations. My pain and worries eased with each passing minute. By the time we reached the end of the joint, we were both mellow and curled up in each other's arms.
“You’ve taken better care of me tonight than Liz did when I first got injured,” I murmured.
“She was a bad nurse?” There was an edge of glee in her question. Iris was a jealous one, even if she didn’t admit it, and she liked having a leg up on my ex. The truth was, she was better for me in every way.
“She was an absent nurse.”
“What do you mean?” Her nails stroked the center of my chest idly.
“Within a month of me coming back home and having emergency surgery, she’d packed up and moved to LA. The divorce came a few months later. That was that.”
Iris’s head popped up, and though her eyes were hooded and slightly glazed, they held sparks of fury. “What the hell? Why in the world would she have left you when you needed her most?”
I pressed on her puffy bottom lip, then lifted my head to cover her mouth with mine. She sighed into the kiss, softening and opening to me, falling into my arms like she always did.
“She had dreams that didn’t involve taking care of an invalid husband. She spent the better part of her twenties alone while I traveled for work. When I came home and it became clear I’d have to leave the military, reality struck us both. We’d been married for years, but we didn’t know each other. I had no clue she felt trapped, that she wanted to sing on stage, or that she longed for more than I could have ever provided.”
Iris sucked in a breath, sharp and pained. “But she left? When you were so hurt?”
“She asked for me to let her go, so I did. I couldn’t get up and fight for her. It wasn’t in me. I had just lost my career, my entire purpose, my health, my independence. My da or Finn had to help me to the damn bathroom in those early days. I couldn’t ask Elizabeth to wait for me, not when she saw me like that and still wanted to go.”
Iris’s mouth pressed into a harsh line. “If I ever see her, I don’t think I’ll be able to be nice. I don’t see how you could have dinner with her and let her touch you.”
My heart constricted at how fiercely Iris wanted to protect me from my past. Maybe we weren’t so different.
“She did us both a favor,meala. We’d both outgrown our marriage, but I would have stayed until the bitter end because that’s who I am. I can have dinner with her now because I care for her, but I haven’t loved her in a long time.”
Her arms tightened around me, and she nuzzled into my neck.
“Once she left, I let my anger fuel me to get better. I told my doctors to fuck off with their predictions on my healing and ability to use my leg.Icontrol my future, not some prognosis handed to me by doctors who didn’t know shite about me. I learned a lot about loyalty and trust. Finn stuck by me the entire way, working out with me, yelling at me to grit my teeth through the pain, getting me wasted when it was all too much. Some of that was guilt, but—”
“Guilt? What was Finn guilty about?” Her head popped up again. “Did Finn sleep with Elizabeth?”
I barked a laugh, because the idea was so incredibly ridiculous. If Finn saw Liz on fire, he wouldn’t urinate on her to put it out.
“He didn’t. Finn was driving the truck when it flipped and I was injured. He blames himself, still to this day. And maybe it was partially his fault. He was joking with some guys in the back, not paying attention. It doesn’t really matter, does it? When I left the service, he followed. He’d have my back anyway, always has, but he’d take ten bullets for me now and still not feel like we were even.”