We ate and talked, catching up like old friends, because that’s what we were. Not strictly, but for me, that had been the foundation of our relationship. The sex part had been a really nice bonus, but once that was done, it was done. That was why I could sit across from Megan and not feel the least bit wistful. If Ronan had come with me today like I’d wanted him to, he would have seen that. He would have understood.
Megan rested her chin on her fist and smiled at me over her half-empty plate. I cocked my head. “What? Do I have ketchup all over my face?”
She shook her head, still grinning. “I am still getting over the fact that you have a boyfriend. I truly thought you were deathly allergic to real commitment.”
“I’ve never been anti-commitment. Maybe I had trouble picturing myself with someone on a long-term basis, but that was because I hadn’t met my person.”
Her eyebrows raised. “Oh really? Do tell. I need to know what it means to earn the title of the elusive Iris Adler’s person.”
I rolled my eyes, but from her intent gaze, I knew she wasn’t going to let this go until I gave her an answer. “It means I found someone who lets me be myself while cocooning around me to insulate me from the ugly of the world. He stands up for me when I need that and stands beside me the rest of the time. He calls me on my shit and doesn’t back down, even when I’m digging my heels in. He’s the right amount of serious and funny. He loves dogs and isn’t afraid to roll around on the floor with them, even in a designer suit. My person is as sweet as he is stern, and he takes care of me in a careful, gentle way.” I shrugged, as if my heart wasn’t about to fall from my gaping chest and flop around on the table like a dying fish. “There’s a lot more to it, but with him, there are no half measures. It’s all or nothing with Ronan—and I chose all.”
But he might have just chosen nothing.
Megan had leaned back in her chair as I spoke, her lithe arms now wrapped around her middle. “Wow. That’s a lot.” She licked her lips and gave me a long look. “Does it help that he’s a man?”
I straightened my silverware and flicked my eyes to hers. “You know that doesn’t matter to me. It’s the person.”
“I wondered...” Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. “I thought maybe when we were together, you never took me seriously because I’m a woman.”
My eyes narrowed. “You were in a relationship with Logan. That wasn’t what we were.”
“Oh, believe me, I know.” She laughed without humor. “I wanted to love you, but you were so disinterested, you didn’t see what was right in front of you. And I thought, maybe once Logan was out of the picture, that might change, but I think I’m too late.”
“What?” I breathed out. “Where is this coming from?”
She tapped the table with her nail. “That’s exactly what I mean. I fell in love with you, and you’re blindsided.” Her hand flattened, and she flashed a resigned smile. “Ronan must be something else if he actually got you to wake up and take notice.”
I didn’t know what to say. “You didn’t love me. That wasn’t us.”
Huffing, she turned her head to peer into the courtyard. “Yeah, I think I’d know if I loved you. I did. I still do. When you responded to my lunch invitation with ‘yes, and I’ll bring Ronan if I can,’ my little, tiny sails lost all their wind. Here I was thinking you might feel a fraction of the same passion I do.”
Shit.“I don’t. I’m sorry.”
She snorted, refusing to look at me. “I got that. No worries.”
Suddenly, I was uncomfortable and claustrophobic. Ronan had been right about her feelings for me. Had he been right about the rest? I couldn’t sit here a second longer. My heart hammered an anxious rhythm in my chest. Blood roared in my eyes.
“Excuse me.” I pushed back my chair. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
I felt Finn’s gaze on me as I strode through the restaurant. It was better knowing he was here. He wasn’t Ronan, but I did trust him to keep me safe.
I braced my hands on the sink in the empty bathroom, taking deep breaths to calm my racing pulse. Too much had happened in the span of a couple hours. I couldn’t think straight. Anger and confusion waged a battle in my skull, battering the borders until my head throbbed with a dull ache.
The door opened, and heels clicked on the tile floor, coming to a stop two sinks down. I quickly wiped my eyes and studied my reflection in the mirror. Death warmed over stared back, but since I felt a little like roadkill, that made sense.
“Hi...Iris, right?”
Dread curdled in my belly. The last thing I wanted to do was interact with a fan. But I pasted on a polite smile, hoping to make this quick.
“That’s righ—” I recognized the woman standing opposite me. We’d never formally met, but I’d said hi to her at industry events. She was a pop star. Young and new in the business but had already made a name for herself. “And you’re Olivia. I think we saw each other in Germany.”
Something was off about her now that I was fully facing her. Her skin was as pale as a bowl of cream, but purple shadowed her eyes. Her clothes were designer and fit her like a glove, but there was a tear at her shoulder and a stain on her skirt. Her hair was tangled in knots on one side, and there was a small patch of her eyebrow missing. Something was definitely off.
“Olivia Grayson.” She smiled sweetly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “We have something in common. More than music. Ronan was mine first, you know.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I shouldn’t have been frightened by this delicate young woman, but her eyes were wild, and my gut said it was time to go.
“Oh, was he your bodyguard? I’m sure he’s guarded a lot of us in the industry. He’s a busy guy.” I began to edge toward the door, but she moved closer, until there was barely any distance between us.