I waggled my brows at her, thanking all that was Prada for Helen’s well-timed intrusion. I needed to be a bitch after being sweet for too long.
“Oooh,tableau. Was that your word of the day on your calendar this morning?”
She shook her head, the corners of her red mouth curling with evil. “No, it was twatwaffle. It was kind of funny, because the illustration next to the definition bore an uncanny resemblance to you. I’d sue if I were you. But I guess you don’t really have grounds for defamation because everyone knows you’re a—”
I kicked her in the shin. “Shut up, floozy, or I’ll have Lachlan throw peanut butter at you.”
“I’m not throwing anything,” he intoned.
Her hands went to her hips. “Care to explain?”
I waved my hand around my head. “I have gum in my hair. Lachlan was kind enough to offer his expertise in removing it. The end.”
Her hip cocked. “Last I heard, there was tension. All better?”
“All better,” Lachlan replied.
“He let me borrow his wrench, so I forgave him. I think I got the short end of the stick, but who’s counting?”
Helen pointed to Lachlan’s knee, which was currently the resting place of my head. “This looks cozy.”
“It is.” In truth, I’d been concentrating on the twinges and had completely forgotten how we were sitting. Snuggling Lachlan’s knee was most likely suspicious, but I was hoping Helen would be the cool girl she was and let it slide.
“So…” She pulled up a chair and parked herself in it. Right in front of us. “What is happening here? I’m invested.”
I flicked my nails in an attempt to drive her away with my indifference. “Lachlan was just telling me about his family ranch. There’s cattle. Two different types. I didn’t even know—”
“Yooo!” Marco leaned over the railing of the deck next door. “No one told me the party’s at the girls’ house.” He jogged over in that way guys do that was actually slower than walking. He made it look good, though.
Marco pinched his nose when he arrived. “Holy shit. I’m about to go into anaphylaxis. What is happening?”
Helen looked up at him. “You’re not actually allergic, are you? Because you’re in the splash zone. I’ve already been threatened.”
I lifted my head off Lachlan’s knee. Cozy time was over. “Where’s Phantom?”
Marco’s face was blank for a moment before he realized I was referring to Julien. I forgot not everyone knew my nickname for him.
Marco cocked his head toward the other house. “Jules is doing some homework like a good, boring boy. The kid isn’t the most entertaining company.”
“Well, we’re making peanut butter and hair sandwiches over here,” Helen said dryly. “By the way, how in the hell did you get gum in the back of your hair? Did you fall asleep with it in your mouth or something?”
“She didn’t do it to herself.” Lachlan’s tone was menacing. Shivers raced up my spine. “People in one of her classes have been bothering her. She’s trying to act like it’s not a big deal, but it very much is.”
Helen winced. “Are you kidding me? Pardon me while I go get my bat. When I get back, point me in the direction of the little bitches who need to be taught a lesson.”
I rolled my eyes, even though deep down—and maybe not so deep down—her anger and protectiveness on my behalf gave life to a part of me I hadn’t even realized was dead.
“Give me names,” Marco gritted out. “All I need are names.”
I tried to shake my head, but Lachlan held it still in his big hands. “I’m disappointed you guys doubt I can fight my own battles. The Pi Sig boys are angry because I helped ruin them. Their weak little displays of revenge don’t faze me.”
Lachlan cleared his throat.
“Okay, until now, they didn’t faze me. But I’m not going to show them I care. Instead, I’ll find a way to obliterate them before the semester is over.” My eyes slid to Helen’s. “Besides, what would Theo think if you beat up his ex-girlfriend?”
She stiffened, her jaw going tight. “Abby’s one of the gumball hos?”
“Mmmhmm.” I liked that name. Kayleigh and Abby were now officially Gumball Hos.