“Tell me,” I said.
His jaw slid back and forth for a moment. “She told me I’d pay on a sliding scale, my rent in proportion to my income. And since I couldn’t work because of the accident, my rent was zero dollars. Zero fucking dollars to live in a nice-ass house, my own private room and bathroom. This girl was a stranger, she had no reason to offer me this, but she did. She didn’t ask for thanks or tell anyone what she was doing. In fact, she flipped me off when I tried to thank her. She told me I could repay her by uglying myself up a little more. She didn’t want competition from a guy who was prettier than her.”
I winced, but Julien laughed, his scarred mouth forming a crooked grin—one I didn’t see very often.
“You don’t understand, Lock. This was like a couple months after my accident. You think people tiptoe around me now? Back then, it was like they were ghosts, floating around me. No one wanted to upset me or hurt my feelings by telling me how goddamn fucked my face was…is. And then, here comes this gorgeous girl in her fancy clothes, openly making fun of me without hesitation. It was a breath of fresh air. It made me feel normal for a little while. Before all this? I was the biggest shit talker you’d ever meet. It’s like Amir and Marco can’t see past my fucked-up face to remember that. But Elena saw it. Maybe it was a kindred spirit thing, I don’t know.”
Our waitress dropped off our food, giving a chance for Julien’s story to sink in. I doused my burger in ketchup and poured some over my fries. Julien took a big bite from his wrap, getting guacamole on the corners of his mouth. We fell back into silence, eating and watching the waves.
“You never answered my original question.” I wiped my mouth with a paper napkin and stuffed it under my plate so it wouldn’t blow away.
Julien talked with a half-full mouth. “It didn’t deserve an answer.”
“No?”
“Nah. If you think the only reason I could care about Elena is because I want inside her pussy, I don’t think there’s much to say.”
I almost flinched at his words. And the idea. His rebuke was sharp, and the sting was felt, but the implication that he had a chance of knowing her like I did got my hackles up. I snapped.
“You care about her because she gives you a place to stay.”
He tossed his half-eaten wrap down and wiped his fingers and mouth before turning his head to stare me down.
“Is that what you heard? In all I said, that’s what you heard? Not the generosity of a stranger? The way she brought me back—keeps bringing me back—from the deep, deep abyss I’d kinda like to fall into? None of that registered for you, Lock?”
“I heard it all. You still didn’t answer my question.”
He sighed, looking me over like I was an unwanted stain. “No, I don’t want her like that. I find her attractive as hell. If I wasn’t in my current situation, no doubt I’d be hitting her up. Luck was on my side, though. I got to know her as a person instead of a good time for my dick. I’m not gonna try to fuck the one person who makes me feel human.”
He turned his chair toward me, bumping the wheels against my shoes. “Sometimes, the ones who look like the good guys aren’t so good. And sometimes, the ones viewed as the villain have the biggest hearts.”
None of this had gone as I’d expected. The anger bubbling in the base of my gut was the most surprising part of it. I didn’t like being told anything about Elena. I didn’t enjoy sitting here, being schooled on the girl I’d already written off. Most of all, the seed of wrathful jealousy taking root in me was unwelcome and wouldn’t be fed. I didn’t have room for any of this, nor did I want it.
“I’m hearing you. I’m done running my mouth about her,” I promised.
“Shouldn’t have happened in the first place,” Julien grumbled.
“You’re right.”
None of this should have.
But that was Elena. No matter my intentions, they seemed to always fly by the wayside around her.