I pressed my thumb to her mouth. “No. There's no making sure.”
She bit my thumb, snarling, her little nose wrinkling up. “Don’t shush me, Amir. I was trying to say I want this thing between you and me to be solid before I rock the boat. I don’t know what that really looks like. Maybe it just means a little more time together, so when Helen comes back at me with all the bad about you—the bad I already know—I can tell her all the good only I get to see. She’s important to me, and so is Elena. I don’t want to be at odds with them.”
“So, I’m your dirty little secret until…when? How long?”
She leaned in and kissed my chin. A small gesture, but it was Zadie. She liked to kiss me there, and I more than liked when she did it.
“I’m really happy.” Her words were delicate and sweet, like spun sugar. “Can’t this be enough for now? When I think of how much we’ve shifted in such a short time, I get overwhelmed. I need—”
“What? What do you need?”
She rubbed her lips together, then took a breath. “I need you to cut me a little slack. Okay? Nothing about you and me is wrong or dirty, and I don’t want you to be a secret. You know, my mom already knows about you. Can’t that be enough? For right now?”
It wasn’t enough. Zadie drove me to distraction. The only way I was able to function was knowing she was mine. And that was low-functioning because I needed that public claim. All the little fuckboys who looked at my sweet girl like she was a possibility had to receive the message Zadie Night wasn’t an option. Not to touch, not to talk to, not even to look at if they’d like to keep their eyes.
“Fine.”
She kissed my chin again. “You don’t sound like you’re fine.”
Hooking my arm around her, I drew her to my chest. “I’m not going to pretend to be pleased with the situation, but I’ll live.” I touched my lips to her forehead. “Go to sleep, mama.”
“Don’t be mad at me.”
I frowned at her. God, she really had no idea. None. “I don’t think I’m really capable of being mad at you.”
“I’ll make it right, I promise.”
She might. Most likely, I'd lose patience and make it right for us both.