I found a spot on one of the upper floors in a low traffic area that was quieter than any other part of the library. There were a few students at tables divided to make cubbies. I snagged a cubby on the end of the table, the girl beside me hunched over her computer with headphones covering her ears.
I read, highlighted, and took notes. Then I went back and quizzed myself. Doing well in school was important to me, but it didn’t come naturally. I had to work my butt off for my grades. Because of everything with my stalker, my grades slipped my senior year of high school. I’d only made it into Savage U by the skin of my teeth. Having a mom, dad, and stepdad who were alumni also helped. A lot, I suspected. But that meant I didn’t take being here for granted. Slacking off wasn’t an option. Even if I could, I planned to one day work as an accountant where precision mattered.
Fortunately for me, I took pleasure in studying. I liked sitting in the cool library, snuggled up in my hoodie, with nothing to distract me. I relished the moment information clicked and settled in my brain. And there was nothing better than getting my exam back with a big fatAon it.
I had accepted I was a nerd a long time ago. I didn’t try to fight it.
After a couple hours, I needed to stretch my legs, so I left my stuff and took a walk through the aisles, inhaling the delicious scent of old books. Once my blood warmed up and my mind cleared a little, I wandered back to my cubby. It was evening now, and many of the people who’d been studying when I’d come in had cleared out, including the girl who’d been sitting beside me.
It wasn’t until I sat down again that I noticed a folded piece of paper on top of my notebook. My stomach instantly churned with dread.
It might be nothing.
It was silly to try to convince myself of that when all I had to do to find out was unfold it. I just...didn’t want to.
I did anyway.
Zadie, Zadie, Zadie, can’t you see
Your bright blue eyes hypnotize me
I just like your hips that sway
Guess that’s why I follow when you run away
Zadie, Zadie, Zadie, can’t you see
Your soft, thicc thighs hypnotize me
I just love your sweet girl ways
Guess I’ll show you one of these days
D
I would have laughed at how terrible the poem was—and how un-Drew-like it was—if I hadn’t been so utterly horrified. Someone was here, watching me, even now. The quiet library, filled with corners and blind spots and shadows, suddenly felt ominous instead of peaceful. I threw my things in my messenger bag as quickly as possible.
“Zadie.” A quiet whisper, barely audible, but I heard it. Someone was calling for me. God, I wasn’t even sure this was Drew anymore. Did it matter? “Zadie, wait.”
My heart pounded with terror. I had to force my leaden legs to move. I would not be the dumb girl who waited around for the bad guy to show up—especially not when the bad guy wastellingme to wait.
Black closed in on the edges of my vision. Panic disoriented me. I rushed down an aisle, only to come to a dead end. This wasn’t the way to the exit. Where was I? Someone was behind me, footsteps approaching.
I turned, forcing my feet to move faster, even with my chest feeling like it was caving in. Why? Why were they doing this to me? Was this Drew? Was it someone else? Was I losing my mind?
No, no, the poem was still in my hand. It was real. And my name, I heard it. I hadn’t imagined it. Someone was coming for me. Someone wanted me afraid. They wanted to get to me. And now, I was cornered. The only thing in front of me was more walls, and to my left and right were endless rows of books. God, where was the exit?
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I need a door. Someone, please, give me a door.
Sweat beaded on my forehead and upper lip. If someone was coming behind me, I couldn’t hear them over the galloping rhythm of my terrified heart.
Ahead of me was my answer. I lunged for the door, throwing myself inside and yanking it closed behind me. This wasn’t an exit. I was standing in blackness, but the heavy smell of cleaning products told me I was in a closet. There was most likely a light switch somewhere along the wall, but I didn’t dare move. If I stayed here, if I didn’t make a peep, they wouldn’t find me. They’d go away, and I’d be safe. At least for now. I’d find the exit. I’d call Helen or Theo or even Lock. Yeah, Lock was big. He’d walk me back to my dorm. He’d scare anyone away who meant to harm me.
I just had to be quiet. Only for a little while.
My reassurances meant nothing when the doorknob jiggled. My hands flew to my face, as if it were some type of protection, but it was all I could do.
He’d found me. After all this time, he had me where he wanted me, trapped. I might as well have given myself to him on a silver platter.
“Zadie, what the fuck?”
My heart stopped. The door clicked shut. My knees turned to liquid, and I fell.