“Oh my god,” Helen groaned. “If some dude is dumb enough to be into you, let’s hope he’s still smart enough to know you aren’t a terrible poetry and flowers girl. I do not want to have to bear witness to his ruthless murder.”
El tipped her chin. “What kind of girl am I?”
“What’s the word I’m looking for?” Hells clicked her fingers. “Oh yeah. Fire and brimstone. That’s more your speed.”
Elena feigned trying to snatch the poem back. “Give me that, Z. I suddenly feel the need to start on my origami middle finger.”
Spinning out of her reach, I escaped into my bedroom while Hells and El bickered back and forth. It was lucky they only bickered and didn’t have hair-pulling, knock-down, drag-out fights. They’d gone to high school together, and to say they hadn’t gotten along would have been an understatement. But, like in romance novels, forced proximity had gotten to them, and I was pretty certain they both held a grudging respect for each other. Unless, of course, Elena was biding her time before sucking our souls out, like Helen had accused her of last week.
Opening the drawer of my bedside table, I took out the other three poems and added the latest to the stack. When the first one came, it had sent an icy chill down my spine and a wave of panic so suffocating, I’d nearly fainted. I’d called my lawyer in Oregon to ensure my order of protection was still good. It was, but it didn’t make me feel any safer.
My phone rang while I stared at the thin stack of papers like a deadly weapon, and my heart leaped into my throat.
Mom calling…
I answered.
“Hey, sweet thing,” she greeted.
“Hi! What’s shakin’, Mama?” I replied.
“Nada. I had a minute of downtime, so I’m calling my sweet girl.”
Flopping back on my bed, I smiled with tears in my eyes. “Did you know I needed to hear your voice?”
“I had an inkling, like the universe was pushing me to my phone. What’s up, honey?”
This would be the perfect time to dump my stress on my mother. Actually, three weeks ago, when the first note arrived, would have been even better. She’d lived through the turmoil of Drew the first time around and hadn’t once faltered in her support, no matter how hard I’d leaned on her. And I’d leanedhard.
But circumstances had changed over the last two years. Mom and Dad had gotten divorced after the year Drew relentlessly stalked and harassed me and my family. The stress we went through had been a big part of the straw that broke their marriage’s back.
Mom remarried her college boyfriend and moved to California. Dad was still in Oregon, smoking a lot of weed and wallowing in his heartbreak. My stepdad, Max, was a nice man, and Mom was mad about him, but three months ago, he had been diagnosed with leukemia, and their newlywed life had been flipped upside down. She had become his caregiver, and I really wanted to be the person she leaned on.
So I couldn’t give her this. Not one more thing. My dad either. If it escalated beyond notes and flowers, I might have to, but for now, I was handling it.
“I’m okay. I think it’s your basic homesickness, slash being worried about Max, slash Dad, slash studying my brains out.”
Mom sighed. “I can’t do anything about your father except tell you he’s a grown man and wouldn’t want you fretting over him, but I know that doesn’t help. Idohave a cure for your homesickness, though. Why don’t you come home for the weekend?”
I wish.Assuming Amir expected me at his house on the weekends, going home, even though it was only an hour away, wasn’t a possibility.
“I can’t, Mom. Not right now. I’m sorry.”
She tsked. “No, don’t be sorry. What if I bring Eli up next weekend and we have lunch with you? I don’t think Max is up for the ride, but I think I can pry Eli from his video games long enough to get him to come along.”
“Yes.” My response was instant. Seeing my mom would buoy me, and Max’s sixteen-year-old son, Eli, was more delightful than a teenage boy had any right to be. When our parents married, we’d bonded easily, even though we’d both grown up as only children. Or maybe that waswhywe’d bonded so easily, since we had each admitted to always wanting a sibling. “Please come to visit. Eli will probably just want to drool over my suitemates, but I don’t even care as long as I get to smoosh his face.”
Mom let out a soft laugh. “He’s under the impression he played it cool in front of them. Let’s let him believe that, okay?”
When Eli visited last semester, he’d laid eyes on Helen and Elena and tripped over his oversized feet. Cool, he was not. Charming and adorable? For sure. But I didn’t think teenage boys were into being called adorable.
I giggled. “No problem.”
“As for Max…” Her sigh was so heavy, I nearly felt the weight of it on my shoulders. “He’s hanging in there, baby. His body is working hard right now, and he’s so tired, but he was in good shape before his diagnosis, so he has that going for him. I’m staying optimistic, and so is he. We’re just in the thick of things right now, and it feels...well, it’s scary.”
My chin quivered, but I pushed the worry out of my voice. She had enough of her own. She didn’t need mine added to it. “Tell me if you need me, Mama, okay? I can put aside my studying to help you.”
“Oh, Zadie, baby, I love you. We have an excellent support system around us. You can help me most by kicking butt in school and being my very cool daughter. Anytime you needme, I’m here. Always, always, no matter what’s going on with Max or Eli. Understand?”