Chapter Thirty-four
Zadie
Mymomlookedahell of a lot better in the morning. We both woke up before the rest of the house, meeting in the kitchen like we’d done my whole life. She made a batch of pancakes just for us, another for the sleeping men. We sat together, eating and talking, while it drizzled outside.
“So”—she raised her eyebrows—“are we ever going to discuss the fact that your ex-boyfriend drove you down here, and if I’m not mistaken, shared a bed with you last night?”
I sighed, scraping my fork through my syrup. “It might be better if we didn’t. I don’t know what to say.”
She crossed her arms. “Since I don’t know exactly why you broke up, I can’t really offer advice. But from a mother’s perspective, I can’t help wondering if maybe he deserves a second chance. He obviously loves you, Zadie.”
That was the thing, wasn’t it? The thing that kept breaking my heart. “I love him too. We just…had a difference we couldn’t get around, and I don’t know if anything’s changed.”
“And have you spoken about this difference?”
“No.” I pressed my lips together, knowing what was coming.
“Why not?”
“Because…” I shook my hands out, “I still have this tiny seed of hope. What if what he has to say kills it? I don’t know if I’m ready to face that.”
She tucked my hair behind my ear and grazed my cheek with the back of her hand. “That doesn’t sound like my Zadie. You don’t hide. And from the way Amir is with you, I really doubt you have anything to worry about. He adores you, baby.”
“I know he does. But sometimes that’s not enough.”
“And sometimes it is.” She leveled me with her mom stare. “Take it from me. I messed up a lot with your dad and Max out of wanting to do the right thing. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t live a life that wasn’t mine anymore when the alternative was to be loved and love out loud. I think you’re making a similar choice now, baby. I want you to experience love that is so aggressive, you never once question it. That might not be with Amir, but if it is, don’t walk away unless that’s truly the only choice you can make. Fight for it.”
“You’re right.” I sucked in a deep breath, taking in everything she’d said. “God, you’re right. I’ll talk to him.”
“I’m glad you’re going to give him at least that chance.” She kissed my temple. “Thank you for coming down here. I think a visit from my girl was exactly what I needed to reset.”
I rested my head on her shoulder. “You can’t kill yourself taking care of Max.”
“I know. Max and I talked. We’re going to come up with a plan to ease some of my load. The last thing he needs is to worry about his wife.”
A throat cleared. Amir stood at the doorway of the kitchen, glancing back and forth between us. “Good morning. Felicity. Zadie.”
Mom pushed back from her seat. “Good morning, love. There are pancakes keeping warm in the oven and coffee in the pot. I’m going to run upstairs and shower and check on my hubby.” She dropped her plate in the sink, squeezing Amir’s arm as she hurried out of the room.
I giggled. “That wasn’t obvious.”
He dropped into the seat beside me, gripping my legs to spin me sideways so my knees were between his. Then he held my face and crushed his mouth to mine, kissing me like we’d never stopped last night. My fingers curled around his T-shirt, holding on as he devoured my mouth.
He pulled back, but only enough so he could speak, and even then, his lips were touching mine. “It’s raining, mama.”
“Yeah, it is.” More than a drizzle now.
“I’m never gonna experience the rain the same again.”
“Neither am I.”
“Are you ready to talk now?”
“I’m ready.”
He took my hand in his, leading me outside to the covered veranda. The rain patted the ground gently, tinking off the part of the tile patio that was exposed, making indents in the otherwise still surface of the pool. He pulled a padded lounger to the edge of the covered area, pausing to stick his hand out into the rain. Then he traced my lips with raindrops and licked them away with a slow caress of his tongue. My knees had already been weak from nerves, but he knocked them out from under me then.
He fell down beside me on the lounger, tucking me under his arm. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to speak so we watched the rain together.