“I’m not going to do that.”
She was breaking me, this girl. My soft, sweet girl couldn’t take any of this. She felt it deeply, even though César had deserved everything he got. Jesus, he’d broken into myhome, carrying a knife and rope. That wasn’t some innocent. We were lucky his cousin had been so damn bumbling, he’d knocked over a lamp and alerted Marco and Julien. Zadie too. I’d been so comfortable in bed, dreaming about my girl, I might have slept through getting my throat slit.
“Tell me, Amir. I won’t let you hide this from me.” She pounded at my chest with closed fists, fighting my hold as hard as she could. “Let me go, let me go!”
“Never. Not going to happen.”
I walked her out of the bathroom, throwing us both down on the bed and trapping her beneath me. My fingers wrapped around her wrists, cuffing them beside her head. She stared up at me like I was a stranger.
“I’m not doing this with you, mama. I took care of what needed to be taken care of. That will never happen again. You’re safe with me. This house is safe. No one is going to touch you. I know you saw things that upset you, and I’m going to make it right, but that willnotbe done by telling you every detail of how I dealt with the problem tonight.”
She turned her head to the side, keeping her eyes from me. I did not like that.
“Zadie.” My hands flexed around her wrists. “Fuck, Zadie, I know you’re mad, but—”
“This isn’t the first time a man broke in while I was sleeping,” she whispered to the wall. “I got used to feeling safe with you. I made a mistake.”
My sternum rendered in two. It was so painful, I couldn’t breathe. My head dropped to her cheek, eyes squeezing shut.
“You didn’t make a mistake. I took care of it. This isn’t like Drew. It’s done, Zadie. He won’t be back. No one will touch you. People in my world don’t know where I live. Helen was one of maybe three or four people, and that’s only because I know her. I don’t have product here. I don't keep money here. You’re safe, Zadie.”
She’d stopped fighting. Her limbs were limp. Her head lolled to the side. “I’m really tired.”
Shut down. She wasn’t willing to listen tonight, and I got it. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t force her to trust nothing like this would ever happen again. And, fuck, did I want to.
“Okay. You need sleep. It’ll look different when we wake up. You’ll see I have you.”
“I’m going to sleep now.”
I pulled back, even though it went against every instinct I had, but I had no choice. As soon as I did, she tugged the covers over herself and curled up on her side. I stood there, watching her for minutes. She didn’t move or say another word. Even after I took the fastest shower known to man, she hadn’t moved.
I lay down in bed beside her, pulling her against me. She was too stiff to be asleep, but neither of us spoke. Sleep wasn’t coming for me either, not with a board on my window and the sad, scared girl in my bed.
It was going to be a long night.
I couldn’t say how, but I fell asleep sometime around sunrise. When I woke up a couple hours later, the sheets beside me were cool and empty. I shot out of bed and took the stairs two at a time, skidding into the kitchen.
Zadie was at the island, a throw wrapped around her shoulders, sipping from a mug. Julien had a hip propped on the counter, peering into the toaster. Marco was at the table, shoveling eggs into his mouth.
I strode into the kitchen and kissed the top of Zadie’s head. “Did you sleep?”
“Not really.” She raised her mug. “Hence, cup two of coffee.”
“Didn’t think I’d fall asleep.”
She knocked the side of her head into my arm. “I’m glad one of us did.”
“Wish it had been you.” Pressing on the underside of her chin with my fingertip, I tipped her head back and studied her face. “Even tired, still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
I leaned down, brushing my mouth over hers. Her lips were almost hot, and I got a taste of her coffee. Tangling my fingers in the fall of her hair, I brought her closer, taking the kiss just a little deeper. We weren’t alone, but even more, I was on fragile ground with her. Too fragile to push beyond her limits.
“I slept like a princess.” Marco dropped his plate in the sink with a clatter. “Thanks for the concern, brother.”
“Hey.” Julien’s spine snapped straight. “Were you forgetting something?”
Marco scratched the side of his head, staring at him for a beat before his eyes widened.
“Nope. I was not walking away from my dirty dishes.” He spun in a tight circle to the sink. “Just practicing my dance moves for you, Z!”