Then Zadie and I were off, her pulling, me pushing. It wasn’t that I was in a hurry to do what I had to do, it was just that I’d like to make it through the night with my kneecaps intact and my sister not burned to a crisp.
“Now what?” she asked.
I pushed down my fear, disgust, disappointment at where I was and what I had to do. I’d been doing that my whole life, so I was pretty good at it by now.
“If I strip tonight and do a couple lap dances, I’ll be able to make enough.”
I’d have to do more than a couple lap dances, but that was okay. As long as I had the money to pay Reno, I’d do almost anything.
“I’m sorry, Hells. I know you hate it.”
“I can’t think about it, Z. I just have to do it, get the money, and then...I don’t know. I’ll get over it. I always do.”
I’d just add this night to the dark corner where I kept memories that were so vile, they’d drag me into an abyss if I spent more than a second reflecting on them.
It would all be okay. If I kept telling myself that, I might start believing it.