He parked outside my dorm, eyes on the windshield. I should have gotten out and made a run for it. Almost everything inside me screamed to run from this, from him. But the soft part of me Theo kept uncovering wanted him to understand me.
“I get to have Luciana when I graduate.”
Theo’s head whipped sideways, his expression fierce. “What?” he breathed.
“My mom and I have a deal. I support Luc while I’m in school, pay my mom’s debts, and I get my girl when I graduate. My mom’ll sign over custody to me and Luc will be mine. I’m going to take summer classes so I can graduate in two years because three years is way too long for her to live there.”
“You’re taking on your sister?”
I nodded hard. “Yeah. She’s mine. I’m hers. There’s no choice. I have to get her out of there as soon as I can. I refuse to let her live like that.”
He was so still, I had no idea what he was thinking, but I braced myself. I hadn’t told anyone my plans for Luciana, except Mads. She’d been the one to help me formulate my plan and pushed me—pushed mehard—to fulfill it.
“Jesus...tell me to fuck off.” He took my face in his hand, and even in the dark, I could make out his pleading expression. “Please, baby. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Do what you need to do for Luc and tell me to fuck off.”
Leaning into his palm, my mouth curved. “Fuck off, Theodore.”
“That’s right.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek, then, when I turned, my mouth. “You’re a good girl, Helen. You know that?”
Those words trapped me in a velvet web. Theo could come along, eat my heart out, and I’d just lie there and take it because he’d called me a good girl.
“I know nothing of the sort.” I unbuckled my belt and grabbed my bag, intent on making a run for it. But like always with him, I couldn’t quite tear myself away. “Don’t fall asleep at the wheel. I’d be sad if you died.”
His shoulders shook with laughter. “Sweetest thing you ever said to me.”
I ran then, taking his lovely laugh and sweet words with me. I just didn’t know how to escape them.
Fucking Theodore. He was really going to mess me up if I wasn’t careful.
Last year, I’d taken online courses at Savage River Community College. Once, Madeline had looked at my syllabus and started hysterically laughing. At the time, I’d wanted to be offended, but I couldn’t really get it up, because my Mads hadn’t had very much cause to laugh anymore. Once she’d calmed herself, she told me I was in for a surprise when I enrolled at Savage U. Like always, Mads had been right. My classes were no joke. The work was backbreaking, and it started right out of the gate. If I hadn’t spent a year with Mads, learning how to take notes, study, and write—things I’d never done in high school—I would have been screwed.
Thursdays in the library with Theo were an indulgence. The hour we read Shakespeare could have been shaved down by half if I’d been on my own. I wasn’t giving them up.
After staying behind to speak with my professor, I was running a few minutes late. Theo was going to claim the chair first, and that wouldn’t do. I liked our battle for the seat far too much.
When I rushed down the aisle to our hidden spot, low voices pulled me to a stop. Theo’s, I recognized. I thought I knew who the other voice belonged to, especially when she called him “The,” which was honestly the worst nickname ever.
Slowly, I stuck my head around the end of the aisle, and yeah, I should have backed away instead. Theo was in our chair, and his pretty, blonde ex had her little ass perched on the arm, her legs nestled against his. I was nosy, so I stayed to watch the horror show before me.
“I don’t understand, The.”
He dug his fingers into the sides of his hair. “There’s nothing to understand. I don’t want to talk to you.”
Frustration poured from him. I had a feeling this wasn’t their first time around this circle.
Bitch sniffled. “But, baby, I still love you, you know? I made a mistake, but so did you. If we talk, I know we can get past it. We can get back to how we were. Remember Sarah and Thomas? Remember?”
Theo’s hands dropped, and for a moment, his eyes went hazy. Whoever Abby was talking about, he obviously remembered, and it affected him. His head jerked in my direction, so I fell back a few steps, behind the cover of the bookshelf.
“Yeah, I remember.” He sounded gritty and tired. I was relieved not to be looking at him. If he’d been wistful or pining, I would have punched someone. Maybe both of them. “I also remember you telling me I had to give up the sport I was deeply committed to in order to keep you. And when I didn’t jump, you walked out on two years of me giving you my everything. That’s why this is done, Abby. That’s why there’s nothing more to talk about.”
“You didn’t give me everything. You didn’t. You had more.” She sniffled again, and this time, a choked sob followed. If she hadn’t been an absolute bitch to me and Luc at the T, I would have felt sorry for her. Now, she was just in my way.
“I need you to do what you do and walk away. Right now.”
“Theo...no…”
“Then I will.”