“Why do you drive me crazy, Helen? Why are you in my head?”
His mouth spoke hot, frustrated words against my neck.
“Again, Theodore, that’s a question you really need to ask yourself.” I would have been more convincing without the quiver in my voice.
Or maybe I was convincing enough. One long, wet touch of his lips on my nape, and he backed up, turned me around, nodded, then walked away.
I did not like Theo, and I was still beating myself up for kissing him, because yeah, there was no denying I’d lunged at him. The only excuse I had was I’d been emotionally depleted from school and Luciana and Amir’s visit and stripping and all the stress and bad of the week. I wasn’t in the market for a boyfriend—definitely not one like Theo. No-strings fucking wasn’t my thing anymore either. So, yeah, I shouldn’t have been kissing random rich boys in their luxury cars—especially not ones with bitchy ex-girlfriends who clearly hadn’t retracted their hooks.
Near the end of class, I leaned into Lock. “You’re not going to protect me when we walk out of here today, are you?”
His attention remained on his laptop. “You don’t need it.”
“And if I want it?”
His head moved back and forth. “Not getting tangled in your drama, girl.”
“It’s Helen, not girl.”
“I know.”
“You’re annoying, Lock.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” I leaned closer so Professor Davis didn’t beam me with his laser eyes for talking during his class. “You know I don’t want his attention.”
“If I knew that, I’d walk with you, keep him away.”
“Annoying,” I muttered.
His lips curved into a smirk as he shut down his laptop and clicked the lid shut. This was why my best friends growing up had been boys. They were easy to get, emotions didn’t run high, and yeah, they’d protect me if I picked a fight with someone I shouldn’t have. Or if one of my mom’s boyfriends got a little too handsy. Not that I couldn’t hold my own when shit went down, but my size put serious limitations on the pack of my punch.
I shouldn’t have worried anyway. At the end of class, Theo tore out of the room without a backward glance. Which was good. It was what I wanted. The game we’d been playing was getting old. It was high time it was over.
That was why I did my studying in my room on Thursday. Shakespeare didn’t have the same feeling when it was inside my head and not read aloud while cradled in the lap of a guy who smelled delicious and felt even better. But it was safer for everyone. I was at Savage U for a purpose—and it didn’t include wasting time and energy on things and people that didn’t matter.
By Friday, I was dragging. I’d worked three nights in an attempt to recoup the money I’d lost from trusting asshole Deacon, not to mention the boost of income I got through selling for Amir. I’d never been a big dealer or anything, but that extra couple hundred every week or two had sometimes meant whether I had food on the table, especially back in high school.
Since I was dragging, my patience was thin, which meant when I saw Theo lurking around the door at the end of Davis’s class, he took the brunt when I snapped.
“I’m not sucking your dick, Theodore. Why won’t you take a hint?” My voice...wasn’t quiet. Classmates behind me released a collective gasp. Beside me, Lock clucked his tongue. But I was done, you know? Ignoring their judgment, Lock’s “not cool, girl,” and Theo’s expression of pure shock, I strode from the building,needingmy bed more than anything.
Theo fell into step beside me. Hands tucked in his pockets, fury emanated from his taut muscles. Any second, I expected to be shoved into a brick wall and shown that yeah, Iwasgoing to be sucking his dick.
“I don’t know what the fuck happened to you that led you to believe a guy paying you some attention and kindness is only out for getting his cock sucked, but that’s not me.”
His hard, furious tone had me stumbling more than his words. And when I stumbled, he reached out and caught me, steadying me. Theo stepped backward, off the path cutting through a courtyard between buildings, pulling me into the grass and under the shade of an ancient tree.
“Life happened,” I said simply, even though it was anything but simple. “Don’t pretend you wouldn’t take it if I offered. Or take it if you thought you could get away with it.”
The tendons at the side of his neck swelled. His face flushed. “Tell me you don’t believe that about me, Hells. Tell me you don’t believe I’d take something from you you didn’t freely give me. Tell me you know I wouldn’t do that.”
I met his eyes. His angry, sparking with rage, blue eyes. “Any man is capable of getting to the place where he’ll take what he isn’t given.”
He released me to drag his fingers through the sides of his black hair. “Helen...no.”
I lifted a shoulder. My guts were a writhing mess, but I didn’t let it play out on the surface.