There followed the appropriate protests—“You’re not old!” “Who are you kidding?” “We should all look so good at your age!”—before he was allowed to proceed.
“I especially want to thank my wife, Bev, for arranging this wonderful event, for sending out the invitations, for choosing the menu and selecting the wine…”
“Noah selected the wine,” Heather interjected loudly, causing a wave of chuckles to sweep through the room.
“Apparently, Noah selected the wine,” Ted said to another such wave.
Joan watched Paige’s shoulders stiffen and her jaw tense.
“Thank you, Noah. And thank you, Heather, for…” He paused, once again checking his notes, as if he weren’t sure exactly what Heather’s contribution had been. “…for assisting your mother. I’m sure you were a great help with everything.”
Now it was Heather’s shoulders that stiffened and jaw that tensed. Joan almost felt sorry for the girl.
She paid little attention to the rest of her brother-in-law’s speech, choosing to concentrate on the sound of his voice rather than his words. She found that if she closed her eyes and just listened, it was almost possible to hear her late husband. Of course, Robert wouldn’t have needed notes. His speech would have been funny and smart and effortless.
And brief, Joan thought, as Ted droned on.
“Mom,” her son said, gently squeezing her arm. “Are you okay?”
“Is she all right?” Paige asked immediately.
So much for closing my eyes,Joan thought, opening them wide. “Would you please stop?” she whispered. “I’mfine.”
“And lastly,” Ted Hamilton said, “I want to say a few words about my late brother, Robert, who wasn’t as fortunate as I am and didn’t live to see this wonderful day. As I’m sure that all of you know, twins share a special bond, and it’s hard to imagine one more special than the one I shared with Robert. We grew up together, we played sports together, we even dated the same girls.”
“Oh, Ted,” Bev said, giggling like a schoolgirl.
“Eventually we formed a business together,” he continued, “and the success of our company was due, in no small measure, to my brother’s input and tireless work ethic…”
In no small measure,Joan repeated silently, understanding by the renewed stiffening of Paige’s shoulders that her daughter was thinking the same thing. The success of the brothers’ company had been due almostentirelyto Robert’s input and tireless work ethic, his brother having largely tagged along for the ride.
“Robert was the yin to my yang. He was the practical one, I was the dreamer,” Ted continued. “He was the calm, I was the storm; his was the voice of reason when my voice was off on multiple flights of fancy; I had big ideas, he knew how to make those ideas a reality. Together, we built a great company.”
Wow,Joan thought.Talk about revisionist history.She’d underestimated her brother-in-law. It took talent to give with one hand and take with the other, to praise and demean at the same time. In a few broad strokes, Ted had painted himself as a man of imagination and vision while relegating his dead brother to the more boring realms of reason and common sense.
“Here’s to you, Bobby,” Ted concluded, using the diminutive Robert had always hated. He lifted his wineglass into the air, the rest of the room quickly following suit. “I miss you, brother. How I wish you were here.”
Tears filled Joan’s eyes. She’d been wishing the same thing every day for the past two years.
“I’d also like to extend my gratitude to Robert’s wife, Joan, for being the best wife my brother could have hoped for, and to their children, Michael and Paige, who made him proud every single day. Michael, a big thank-you to you and Deborah for flying in from New Jersey to celebrate with us tonight, and Paige, what can I say? You know that I’ve always considered you more a daughter than a niece.”
Joan watched the already stiff smile freeze on Heather’s face.
“Thank you for being here tonight, and know that Bev and I are always here for you.” He returned his notes to his tuxedo’s inside jacket pocket. “And that’s it, everyone. Enjoy the rest of the evening. Coffee and birthday cake are on the way.”
“Excuse me,” Joan whispered, rising from her seat as a waiter approached with plates of something chocolate and gooey. She couldn’t sit there another minute. She couldn’t breathe. She needed air.
“Where are you going?” Michael asked. “Are you okay?”
“Is she okay?” Paige echoed.
“I have to pee, if that’s all right with the two of you.”
“I’ll come with you,” Paige said.
“Stay right where you are. I’m perfectly capable of peeing on my own.” Joan marched purposefully from the room, locating the women’s washroom off the main lobby and locking herself in a stall, lowering the lid of the toilet seat, and sitting down. She took a series of long, deep breaths, the last one emerging as more of a strangled cry.
“Are you all right in there?” a voice asked from one of the other stalls.
Damn it.She hadn’t realized anyone else was in the room. “Yes, thank you. Quite all right.”
There followed the sound of a toilet flushing and water running. Seconds later, a door whooshed shut and Joan was finally alone. “Goddamn it,” she whispered. She had to get a grip, give her brother-in-law the benefit of the doubt. It was possible he’d meant well. He couldn’t help that he was such a self-centered bonehead. She had to pull herself together, especially for Paige. She had to set an example, be gracious and resilient, show her daughter that there was life after loss.
Joan took another deep breath, then exited the stall and left the washroom. It was time to go home. Maybe she could get a ride with Paige and Sam. But when she returned to the ballroom, she saw that her daughter’s chair was empty. “Where’s Paige?” she asked Sam.
He looked uncertain. “I assumed she was with you.”
Joan glanced around the room. People were finishing their dessert and starting to take their leave. Some were approaching Ted’s table to say their goodbyes. She watched her brother-in-law rise from his seat to shake their hands and kiss their cheeks, reveling in the attention. She saw his two sons graciously thanking everyone for coming. She saw Bev basking in the ongoing compliments. She saw Heather twisting from side to side, her eyes conducting a subtle scan of the premises.
And she saw something else: Just like Paige, Noah was nowhere in sight.