The question was much deeper than her tone entailed. There was something behind her voice that made me think she wanted to say more, but she held back.
“I have to be, don’t I?” I licked my lips. “Those were all the choices that led me back here.”
“Yeah.” She cast her gaze downward to her lap. “It led you back here.”
I didn’t know if I liked the way she said that.
“Are you happy with the choices you made?”
She shrugged, throwing her long brown hair over her shoulder. “My choices gave me Axel. I also got a lot of pain and went through a lot of things I shouldn’t have but, at the end of the day, I got him.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Dan.”
She looked into my eyes. I loved that she was looking at me now, not just through me. This was progress. I could work with this.
“I am happy or, at least, I try to be.”
I nodded in understanding. I wanted to press her more, but I didn’t want to scare her off. I would dismantle her walls one brick at a time and not with a wrecking ball.
She let out a low laugh, drawing my attention back to her.
“What?”
“It feels like no time between us has passed but, at the same time, it feels likes centuries have passed.”
“What do you mean?”
She looked up. “I mean us. You feel so familiar to me but so different at the same time. It’s like you are still my Gav, but you are also not my Gav at the same time.”
Ah, that’s what she meant. She wasn’t wrong though. LA had made me jaded. I had purposefully shoved the man I used to be behind the curtain so I could play a character. And although a lot had happened to me it didn’t change the fact that I had always been hers. My heart belonged to Daniella Anderson whether she knew about it or not.
“I have always been your Gav, Dan. The real question was were you always my Danny to have?” I didn’t know why I had just said that but now it was out. It was a question I had always wondered about for so many years. She had been my best friend, but she was never truly mine to have.
She was never truly mine to love. She was never truly mine to miss. I had been hers, but I was never sure if she had been mine.
She looked at me through her eyelashes. That look had me weak in the knees.
“I was always yours, Gavin? Didn’t we make that clear when we were like nine? You and me against the world…”
“Till the end of time…”I continued our vow.
“I am yours and you are mine.” We said the last line in unison. I hadn’t said those words since high school which felt like a lifetime ago.
“We’ve grown up,” she said, looking directly at me.
I nodded. “We have. And I think we need a do-over.” I patted my hands on my sweatpants and extended my hand to her. “Hi, my name is Gavin Hendricks.”
“Hi, my name is Daniella Anderson.” She smiled at me, and for the first time since I laid eyes on her again, her smile reached her eyes again fully.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Daniella, but do you mind if I call you Dan. You look like a Dan to me.” I recited the exact same line I had said on the playground all those years ago when we had first established we were best friends.
She let out a soft laugh. “Dan is just fine.”
And so, Danny and Gavin began again as friends. I wanted more, I had always wanted more with her but I just needed to be patient.