“Astrid, if we aren’t going to order food, then we might as well just leave and head to my house. I don’t have time for your childish behavior right now.”
“What’s my middle name?”
“What? What does that have to do with anything?”
“We have been doing this”—she gestured between the two of us—“for almost four years now and you can’t tell me what my middle name is?”
Here we go again. She always did this. Whenever we started hooking up again, she would get emotional and try to attach feelings to this arrangement we had.
“Do you know my middle name?”
“Arthur. Your middle name is Arthur. You are allergic to almonds, and you can’t eat the green sour gummies because you say they taste like vomit.”
Damn. She had me there.
“Astrid…”
“No, don’t Astrid me. Grayson, I’m not getting any younger, and we have been prolonging this thing for years now. When are you going to finally commit to me? I have given you no reason not to trust me.”
I ran a frustrated hand over my face. “Astrid, we spoke about this multiple times before, and I don’t understand why you keep bringing this up. I’m not interested in dating anyone.”
“Why?” Her voice raised, causing people to stare in our direction.
“Because I am not looking for a relationship. I’m not emotionally available for anything other than sex. If you feel you can’t handle this arrangement, then leave now. I never forced you to stay.”
“I’m not her, Grayson. I won’t hurt you like she did.” She reached for my hands. “Stop shutting out every woman that tries to love you.”
I recoiled from her touch at the word love. I stood from my seat and started walking toward the exit. Astrid grabbed my hand trying to halt my steps.
“See, this is what you do, Grayson. You run. Every time someone wants to get that little bit closer, you recoil into your dingy little shell and refuse to come out.” She rounded me and came to stand in front of me. “She’s not worth it, Grayson. You need to let go of the past. I know what she did was unforgivable in your eyes, but you need to move past it.”
“Move,” I bit out.
She stayed rooted in her place. “I could give you exactly what you need, Grayson. Just give me that chance. I will help you forget her.”
I scoffed and sidestepped her and made it out of the diner. Everyone had been staring at us by the time I made my swift exit, but I didn’t care. I was never one who cared about the rumors or the finger-pointing of this town. Everyone always had something to say.
Luckily, very few knew the reason as to why Jade had left Riverroad all those years ago. Many thought it was because of Monica’s addiction. Others thought she had run away to start a better life for herself. Both things were true, but they were not the main reason she had left.
She had left Riverroad to run away from the mistake we had both made but only one of us was willing to take the responsibility. I had been willing to play my part to rectify our mistake, but she had completely removed me from the equation altogether and decided to run.
I remembered being so devastated when I found the half-ass letter she had written to me folded on my bed.
I need to do what is best for me. I’m so sorry. I love you still —J
I remembered rereading the note ten times before I finally crumpled it up and took off running, trying to find her, but it was no use. She was gone, and Ethan wouldn’t tell me where she was.
I shook off those negative thoughts that were playing in my mind and opened the front door to my truck.
My appetite was gone, and my sex drive depleted to nothingness.
I was about to start driving in the direction of the shop but then Ethan’s number flashed across my screen. I answered it, and his voice blared through the speakers of the car.
“Hey man, can you do me a favor please?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I left my file in the living room, and I need it for the next few clients coming in. Can you run to my house and get it for me? If you are busy, that’s alright.”
“Nah, I will get it for you. I told you I am here for whatever you need.”
And I was. I had wanted Ethan to take a break from working, at least until his mother’s funeral had passed, but he insisted on going. It probably helped him keep his mind busy.
I hung up the phone and made my way to his house. I pulled into his driveway and got out of the car. As I made my way to the door, it flung open, revealing the tear-stained face of Jade. But that wasn’t what had me narrowing my eyes at her.
I looked down beside her and saw her luggage behind her, and her handbag in her hand.
“You’re running again, aren’t you?”