Chapter 23 - Ben
I stopped throwing my things into my suitcase and stamped downstairs to try to pack up all my papers instead. I couldn’t seem to focus. I’d only been apart from Laurel for an hour since I dropped her back at her house and I was restless and itching to see her again. She made me promise that our goodbye there would have to suffice because she couldn’t handle anything dramatic the next day. The light kiss and the “see you later,” as she flounced to her porch wasn’t going to cut it for me, but I’d given her my word I wouldn’t draw things out.
She said if she had to think about not seeing me again for a month or more, it would make her too sad and that was the last thing I wanted, despite the fact it was tearing me to pieces.
As I put my work papers in order and carefully dismantled my storyboard, I felt a little better. I had gotten a lot done in a week, inspired by the beauty all around me. I hoped being surrounded by buildings that blotted out a sludgy brown sky didn’t make that inspiration shrivel. The idea of editing a magazine that was dedicated to living in the mountains and all that entailed in the middle of Manhattan, made me choke out a bitter laugh. And then I started wondering. And questioning.
I found my phone in all the clutter and jabbed at Will’s number with a vengeance.
“Still alive?” he asked by way of a greeting.
“I have a ticket home for tomorrow,” I told him.
He was silent for a moment. “But?” he asked.
“Why do we have to have theMountain Livingoffices in New York?” I asked. All of our magazines were housed in the same building, now owned jointly by the three of us. “And more to the point, why should any of my magazines be there? They’re all related to nature and the outdoors, nothing to do with the city.”
“I could mention the fact that our employees all live here, or the fact it’s always been that way, but I feel like you’re getting to a point, Ben.” Will knew me better than I knew myself.
“The employees that don’t want to relocate could work remotely. I’ve gotten more done from here this last week than I did the past year, and it’s all been smooth sailing. The rent here won’t be expensive and we wouldn’t need a huge space—”
“You’re in love with Laurel,” he interrupted. I could almost see his grin.
My own grin took over my face. “Yes. I feel alive again, Will.” My throat closed up and the guilt welled. “Is that wrong?”
“Jesus,” he hissed. “Of course not. I’m happy for you, and she seems great.”
“She is great,” I said eagerly. “So, you think we could go ahead with the move?”
He laughed. “I don’t think you understand what being in charge of those magazines really means. It means you get to make the decisions. If you’re asking if I support you, then the answer is yes, and I’m sure Eli will, too.”
I ended the call, not sure if I said goodbye or not. I grabbed the car keys and flew out the door. I had to force myself to drive safely, my foot pressing the gas pedal too hard in my haste to get to her. She wasn’t at her house so I raced to the diner.
Pausing to catch my breath, I looked through the windows to see her taking the order of an elderly couple. The cook was behind the counter and he caught my eye, nodding at me with a knowing smile. My eyes drifted back to Laurel, laughing at something the man said, and leaning down to point out something on the menu to the woman. Even these little, every-day, not-very-special things she did made my heart feel like it was about to burst. It was because she was so special. The most special thing in the world to me.
I went in and stood in the doorway, still just happy to watch her. She called absently over her shoulder for me to sit wherever I wanted, finally turning to see it was me when I kept standing there.
Her smile faded. She hurried over and grabbed my arm, pulling me by the register.
“I thought we weren’t going to do any drawn out goodbyes,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. She swiped them away and shook her head angrily.
I took her by the arms, words tripping over themselves to get out. “I love you,” I said, the only ones that made it past my lips.
She softened but still looked annoyed, her shoulders slumping. “I know. I love you, which is why I didn’t want to do this. I don’t want to be a blubbering mess because you’re leaving tomorrow.”
I shook my head. “I’m not leaving tomorrow. Or ever. I’m moving the magazines. It’ll take some time to get it all settled, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What? Why?”
“I thought we just covered that,” I said with a laugh. “Because I love you. I know you don’t want to do long distance and neither do I. I was going crazy being away from you this past week. I won’t be able to stand it if we’re thousands of miles apart.”
She laughed and blinked, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You probably could have stopped with I love you.” She threw her arms around my neck.
I circled her waist, pulling her close to me. “So, you’re okay with it?”
“Are you kidding? I’m more than okay with it. We can be together whenever we want, have lazy breakfasts together, drive over to the flea markets on Saturdays.”
“All of that. Whatever you want.” I looked over her shoulder and called out to the cook. “Hey, man, when does Laurel get off work? I want to take my girlfriend to a movie.”
He rolled his eyes. “Nine-thirty, and good luck with that.”
“The movies only run at night on the weekends,” she said with a blush. “Are you sure you can handle living in such a small town?”
I kissed her thoroughly, never more sure of anything. “I didn’t want to go to the movies anyway,” I said low, near her ear. She shivered and her eyes went blank with desire. “I’ll be back to pick you up at nine-thirty,” I said.
“Or you could hang out here,” she suggested. “I have another potato concoction I think you’d like.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “And we could sneak away to the back on my break.”
I twirled her in a circle toward an empty booth, making the older couple chuckle at our antics. “I knew you were brilliant,” I said, kissing her again before plopping into the seat.
I was ready for this new life. More than ready, excited. All because of Laurel.