* * *
ALYSSE HAD ALWAYS STRUGGLED with being alone in public. Partly it was because she’d always felt so self-conscious that being alone made her feel exposed. But after Jay had left and she’d spent all those nights alone having to rebuild her confidence, something had changed. Her mom often said that it was as if part of Alysse stopped caring what other people thought. And Alysse didn’t know if that was true, but she had finally stopped building her life around the romantic fantasy that had always existed in her head.
She was having a drink at one of the many bars in the marina area and sitting outside where she had a nice view of the Pacific. Staci had unexpectedly met up with one of her former boyfriends and gone with him when they’d finished the cupcake giveaway, and, instead of heading back to the bakery and her home, Alysse had decided to stay here.
She had a lot to think about, what with Staci wanting to go off and do her own thing. And Jay.
He’d been so accommodating a part of her had just expected him to say yes when she’d asked him to meet her, but then she guessed it was important to remember that he was busy away from her.
She took another sip of her wine and leaned back in the chair. The marina was busy with foot traffic—couples and families taking a stroll. In the distance she heard the sound of a reggae band playing. The marina committee had a full schedule of events that were going until late tonight.
She stretched and turned to signal her waiter and was surprised to see Jay approaching. He wore his habitual jeans and a T-shirt with a thick leather bomber jacket over it.
He pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”
“I didn’t think you were coming,” she said at last, realizing that she hadn’t gotten over her expectation that he would leave her.
“I wasn’t sure I would either,” he said. “The traffic from L.A. was nuts. I don’t know how people drive here all the time.”
“This job is demanding?” she asked. “You haven’t said much.”
He hadn’t shared a lot of his life with her. In fact, if it wasn’t something she pulled out of him, he never volunteered information about himself. She suspected he was just used to playing his cards close to his chest.
“Today I went and did recon for a job they’re doing tomorrow. Guarding a dignitary at a dinner. I was checking out possible places where a shooter could set up in case...well, the guy’s a target so there is no in case.”
She heard some excitement in his voice as he talked about it. He ordered a beer from the waiter and then stretched his long legs out and looked over at her.
“Do you think you will take the job?” she asked. “It definitely sounds like your kind of thing.”
“Today was. But other jobs they have aren’t as interesting,” he said, taking a swallow of his beer. “I don’t know yet.”
He wasn’t going to make a decision that quickly and even if he did it would have no impact on her. Had things between them changed at all in the week they’d spent together?
She knew they had an electric sexual chemistry and she had to admit he’d let her use him for all the sex she wanted. But the truth was the more that she was with him, the more she wanted him. He wasn’t curing her so she could move on. She was falling for him and that loner persona of his, even though she was trying not to.
“Would you like it if I took that job?”
“I don’t think that’s up to me,” she said. “I don’t want you to hold it against me if I say yes and you hate it.”
“That’s fair enough. Have you thought about us in the long term?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. Have you?”
He didn’t say anything, just took a long draw on his beer and she honestly had no idea what that meant. It occurred to her that while she’d been busy trying to cure herself of Jay, he’d been doing his best to protect himself, too. Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together.
“What are you thinking?” he asked her.
“Nothing,” she said. No way was she spilling her guts to him. He couldn’t even talk to her about the simplest of things. Wouldn’t give her an answer about anything connected with the two of them.
He shook his head. “You look sad.”
“I’m not. I’m concerned about the bakery,” she said. “That’s probably what you’re seeing.”
“Why concerned? I thought everything was going well there,” he said.