“I’m getting bored,” Staci said. “I’ve wanted to talk to you about it for a while. The timing never seemed right.”
“Talk about what?” Alysse asked. She hated this. Every time she started to feel comfortable and as if her life was on the right path, something like this happened. “Are you leaving Sweet Dreams?”
“I don’t know yet. I want to do this competition to see if I still have it in me to run with the big dogs, you know?” she asked.
Honestly, no, Alysse didn’t know. She liked the quietness of the bakery and the familiarity of the repeat customers. “I don’t see it, although I can understand that you want more. You are Cordon Bleu–trained.”
“Yes. And I think I’m finally ready.”
“For this competition? Or is it about being on TV?” Alysse asked, trying to understand exactly what Staci wanted.
“The competition. I was working in a Michelin-starred restaurant in Paris before things went belly-up and I ran back here to the States. I want that again. Last night I dreamed I was on the line and we were doing forty covers. The kitchen was crazy and I felt the energy...I miss it.”
“Then you have to go for it. You shouldn’t deny yourself the chance to pursue your dream. After all, Sweet Dreams was my idea and you helped me get it off the ground,” Alysse said. “So what do you need from me?”
“Just some time off to do the show if I get through the first audition. We should probably hire someone to help out with the baking,” Staci said.
“Yes. We’ll have to make some changes, I’d rather spend more time in the kitchen than up front so maybe hiring a full-time counter person would be better,” Alysse suggested.
“That might work. Sorry to spring it on you like this, but you’ve been busy every night after work.” Staci turned and looked out the window at the passing hills of Southern California.
“Yes, I have been,” Alysse admitted. She’d been busy trying to avoid Staci and her asking about the bad-boy Marine she was dating, whereas Staci had wanted to tell her about this Premiere Chef thing.
“It’s Jay that’s making you rush out the door every night, right?” Staci asked.
“Yes, it is. We’ve been trying to get to know each other again,” Alysse said. It seemed that she and Staci were both heading off in other directions. Maybe they’d both done as much as they could together and it was time for them to try things on their own again.
“And is that working?” Staci asked. “To be fair, you seem to be pretty happy most days.”
Alysse shrugged. “I like him. He can be a challenge sometimes and I’m not at all sure that he’s someone I can spend the rest of my life with, but going out every night reminds me of all I’ve missed. I guess, like you wanting to get back into a Michelin-starred kitchen, I had shut myself off from a lot of things.”
“Yes, you had. As I have pointed out on more than one occasion. But I’m glad to hear you admit it. I’ve been worried about you for a while because the bakery can’t be your life,” Staci said.
Alysse hated to admit it but Staci was right. She’d let the bakery become her entire life, and, to be honest, she was still doing that. She gave Jay the few hours at night before she went to bed, and then she rushed out in the morning while he was still sleeping.
She was glad for Staci though. The more they talked the less panicked she felt about Staci leaving to pursue a different dream. She would get through this change the way she always did—by finding a new comfort zone. She could and would do it.
“I know. To be honest, I think I was hiding there. It took so much effort to get the place up and running but now we have it under control,” Alysse said. And that was what bothered her. She liked the fact that she’d gotten the bakery to a point where things went smoothly. There was a lot to be said for having something in your life that did what it was supposed to.
“That’s why it seems like I should audition,” Staci said. Her friend was looking at her with a sort of question in her eyes.
“You are so right,” Alysse said to reassure Staci, but she found that she’d kind of reassured herself, too. “We both need to stop hiding in Sweet Dreams and go after the things that pushed us to create it in the first place.”
“True. It’s funny that we both were able to make something so successful and safe out of our disappointments,” Staci said.
It was, and it spoke to the women they both were, Alysse thought. She and Staci had run away from their problems by going into the kitchen and creating something new. Something that no one else had any control over and Alysse realized that sharing Sweet Dreams with Staci had helped her to survive that first year after Jay had left.