“And being with you will hurt me even further.”
“Then why the fuck did you come back?”
“I don’t know!”
Onyx grabbed my arm and yanked me closer, pulling my body flush against his as his mouth came down, slamming against mine. His kiss wasn’t gentle. His lips weren’t soft and sweet. It was hard, firm, and it obliterated every inhibition I had. Memories of my past, the thoughts that always kept me prisoner, kept me from being with another man were gone, replaced by an inferno of desire. I didn’t think it was possible for me to ever want a man’s touch again. But while his tongue claimed every corner of my mouth, his hands exploring inch of my body, all I thought about was how I wanted more. More of him. More of this moment. More of…us.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, trying to tell him I needed more.
His palms gripped my ass, forcing me harder against him, letting me feel how ready he was. Like before, our kiss was achingly powerful, a frenzy of lust and a need to leave the entire world behind while we indulged in each other.
This was not part of the plan. Kissing Onyx and enjoying it was not part of the fucking plan. Yet here I was, kissing him, and so fucking desperate for more.
I let my arm slip from his shoulder, my hand traveling down his abdomen, feeling the ripped muscle roped across his stomach. As I reached for his belt, Onyx moaned into my mouth, a guttural groan echoing in the back of his throat.
“Touch me, and I can promise you there’s no way you’ll stop me from taking you.”
My hand hovered by his belt while I heeded his warning, fingers gently tracing over his skin. I could feel his body tremble, feel his need radiate from him like waves of energy.
For the first time in my life, I wanted a man to take me because I wanted him to, because I liked the way I felt when he touched me. For the first time, I wanted to be with someone without having the devil knocking at my skull with his evil claws. Right here, with Onyx, I didn’t feel the shackles of my past tying me down, making it impossible to move on. I didn’t feel disgust, or regret, or wish there was a way to erase my pathetic existence from this world. So there was no way I would stop now.
I slipped my hand into his pants, and he groaned, his cock twitching as I took him in my palm, wrapping my fingers around his length.
Onyx nipped at my ear, his breathing loud and labored. He squeezed my ass hard, like he was starved to feel me, the anticipation building and building, promising to take us where we wanted to go.
It was liberating to be able to feel that, to feel the heat and fire—the thrill and the wantonness, rather than the pain and fear that used to accompany another man’s touch. This was what I had run from earlier, the fact that it felt so different than what I had been used to. The fact that I liked it and wanted more. A damaged vessel shouldn’t want to be filled. A used canvas shouldn’t want to be turned into a masterpiece when it had nothing but black painted on it.
But this time I wasn’t going to run, not while my body burned for him.
I wrapped my fingers tighter around him. “If you want me, then take me.”
Without warning, he spun me around, his pants slapping against his skin as my hand yanked out. I was unable to breathe with the fire that burned inside me, his hands wasting no time in unfastening my jeans while his arms laid on my hips.
“Put your hands on my Harley. Push out those hips of yours.”
I obeyed. I obeyed like a little slut, a girl who wasn’t ruined enough to walk away from a man, and an act that would surely obliterate me. The inferno of lechery that burned with the flames of hell deep inside my core should have been a warning that I was playing with the devil. But I didn’t care. I didn’t give a fuck because, for the first time, I was doing what I wanted to do, and not what the demons of my past or the master of my present wanted me to do.
I placed my palms on his bike, and Onyx slipped his fingers beneath the denim of my jeans, jerking them down with a force evident of how much he wanted to fuck me right now.
The summer breeze skidded across the naked skin of my ass, and I sucked in a breath when I heard the sound of his zipper. “Do I need a rubber?”
“No.” I could hardly fucking breathe. “I’m on birth control.” I had to be.
“I was hoping you’d say that because I really want to fuck you bare.”
My skin erupted with goosebumps when I felt the head of his cock trace along the slit of my ass. “I’ve never wanted to claim a woman as much as I want to own you right now.”
“Then do it.” I pushed my ass out even farther, my body primed and ready to take him.
He nudged at my entrance with his cock, and I closed my eyes, the anticipation almost too much to handle. I was spinning out of control, my body and mind consumed with a haze of intoxicating need.
“I really want to take my time with you.” His voice was hoarse and low, and I knew he no longer had control. “But not right now. Not when your body is so eager to be fucked.”
I felt his cock slip down my ass one more time, and with a hard thrust, he plunged into me, a scream ripping from my throat as pain and pleasure collided deep in my core. His thick girth stretched me, filled me, completely possessed me, and I almost lost my balance, my knees weak and legs shaking.
For a second, he stilled, not moving while he remained buried inside me. He gathered my hair into his hand, winding it up around his fist, pulling at the roots while I tried to sink my nails into the leather of his Harley’s seat.
Slowly, he eased out, and with a grunt he sank back into me, only harder this time, deeper, letting me feel every inch of him. He filled me to the brim, and I never knew it could feel this fucking good. Every nerve ending in my body felt electrified, every muscle taut and tense.