“I can tell you don’t. But a part of me would like to think that what happened between you and me was more than just hormones going crazy. That even though one night was all you really wanted from me there was something more going on there. I know I sound like a hopeless romantic,” she said.
“I’m not romantic,” he said. “I think the condom malfunctioned and we have a son. Nothing more was involved in it. But I do think what you and I do with him, how we raise him, how we treat each other, those are the things that will have a long-lasting effect on him.”
“I agree,” she said. “Which is why until I say otherwise, we’re going to keep the fact that you are DJ’s father a secret.”
He didn’t look too happy about her decision but she really didn’t care. She wasn’t about to risk her son or herself falling for a man who was used to leaving. Who was used to always having one foot out the door.
“Okay, but you and I will date.”
“Why? Whatever for?”
“It’s the only way to get our families used to the fact that we are together. And eventually they are going to learn about me and DJ. Don’t you think it will be a lot better if we give them a chance to get used to me first?”
He had a point.
“I don’t think so. We should keep this just between us.”
But her sisters were going to give her the third degree. Even so, she was tired of keeping the secret of DJ’s father. And it looked like she was going to have a chance at the family she’d always wanted with the only man who’d ever kissed her and made her forget everything but the way she felt in his arms.
Six
Dating. Dec wanted them to date and Cari had left him with a vague nod of the head, but had been careful not to agree to anything. There was no way that their families were ever going to accept them as a couple. Emma and Jessi would have a lot to say about her dating a Montrose.
Especially given the way that Dec had been sent to evaluate and chop up their company. No matter what spin he tried to put on it, everyone knew he was there to break up the company in payback for her grandfather cutting old Thomas Montrose out of Infinity all those years ago.
She rubbed her bleary eyes as she stared at the digital numbers of the clock. It was three-thirty and she doubted Emma would appreciate her showing up to pick up DJ. But she needed her son home in her arms. She’d made a bad choice in allowing her sister to take him to her home.
Tonight she needed to hold his warm little body close and breathe in his sweet baby scent and remind herself that she could be strong. Instead she was lying in her big bed and dreaming of Dec. Was it any surprise?
She hadn’t forgotten their one night together. Since then, no other man was interested in her. And to be honest she wasn’t interested in any other man. Was she interested in Dec?
Attracted to him? Definitely. More than that? She just didn’t know him well enough to be sure. The parts she’d seen had shown her a man who was ready for a good time and serious about business, but there wasn’t much else she could say about him.
Perhaps his dating idea was a good suggestion. She’d have a chance to get to know him and see if he was really the right man to be a father to DJ. It didn’t matter to her that he’d provided the sperm. In a very basic way she almost felt as if she’d gone to a sperm bank…. Why hadn’t she thought of that lie to tell her sisters?
Jessi already suspected that DJ’s father was someone they knew. She was always asking sly questions and trying to pry the name out of her. And if Cari hadn’t been so determined to keep her secret she would have given Dec up long ago.
She rolled over and punched her pillow into shape, wrapping her arm around it and closing her eyes. It was only her inherent weakness where he was concerned that made her imagine she was curled against Dec with her arm around his chest.
She didn’t even pretend she was thinking of any other man. There was only her in the bedroom and she wasn’t about to lie to herself. She was weak where he was concerned and she really had to remember that he was just a man. And he was flawed.
He was a commitmentphobe. Sometimes she was frustrated with herself for never doing anything the easy way. It would have been so much better to fall for Jacob, who worked for the accounting firm that did the independent audit of their books each year and who was always asking her out and who, as he’d told her numerous times, wanted to start a family.
But she wasn’t attracted to Jacob. He was safe and a little boring. To be fair, he was a lot like she was and she had always wanted someone a little dangerous. But danger didn’t seem fun or exciting now as she lay alone in her bed and wondered how she was going to keep herself from painting Dec as the man she wanted him to be.