Bile started to churn, and with every word he spoke, it moved an inch up my throat.
“We saw it, Alyx. We saw it all.”
My hand reached up to my throat as if I could stop the bile from erupting. My pulse was racing, my insides coiled tight like it had been wrapped with barbed wire. I was pretty sure a knife in the gut would feel better than this.
“Your mom forced her finger down your throat, and you vomited right there on the fucking porch.”
“Oh, God.” I turned around to face the wall, leaning with my head against the cold concrete.
“That’s the night Granite decided he would find a way to take you away from that house, away from your psycho mother.”
I remembered that night like it was yesterday. It wasn’t the first time my mom had forced me to throw up. But that night was different. I had never seen my mom as angry as I did that night, all because I decided to skip one class. One goddamn ballet class, and all hell broke loose. That night, three slices of pizza ended up on our front porch, and I could taste the blood as her nails scratched the back of my throat. But the one thing that made that night different than all the other times she made me sick—literally—my dad was standing inside the house, watching without saying a single word. My dad did nothing to stop her, and just stared at me with sadness in his eyes. It was the worst night of my life, witnessing how my dad’s love for my mom overshadowed his love for his own daughter.
“So, you see, Alyx,” Onyx continued, “you’re not special to him. I tried to tell Kate this as well, but she wouldn’t listen. Hopefully, you will.”
“Stop, Onyx. Please.”
“He’s using you to ease his conscience.”
“I said stop.”
“Don’t make the same mistake Kate did, Alyx. My brother is not fucking worth it.”
“I said fucking stop!” My fist slammed against the concrete wall, excruciating pain radiating from my soul to every bone in my body.
“He will ruin—”
“You heard her, Onyx.” The sound of Neon’s voice was like liquid relief that flowed over me. “Leave,” she continued.
“I’m not done talking to Alyx yet.”
“Yes, you are.” Her voice was firm, strong. “Don’t make me tell Granite what happened here.”
Finally, I managed to pull myself together, and I turned to face them. Neon’s glare was fixed on Onyx, and he glanced from her to me. “He’s going to kill you…just like he killed her.” Then he left.
With that warning hanging in the air like thick smoke about to smother me, I slipped down the wall and sat flat on my ass, burying my face in my hands. There were no tears. Just thoughts. Crazy thoughts that made absolutely no sense, and I didn’t know how to sort through it. I wiped my palms down my face, trying to take a few deep breaths.
“It seems our little Onyx boy is still jealous as fuck over big brother.” Neon walked over and placed a heap of clothes on the bed before sitting beside me, leaning her head against the wall. “Shake it off, Swan Lake. Around here, you can’t afford to walk around with doubts and shit that will keep you from thriving.”
“What if he’s right?”
Neon shrugged. “What would life be without a fuck-load of what-ifs? Unfortunately, we can’t always answer all the stupid fucking what-if questions. But we can choose to ignore them.”
I pulled my fingers through my hair. “I don’t want to be someone’s ticket toward redemption.”
“Well, the way I see it, you don’t really have a choice in the matter.”
Surprised, I glanced at her, and she gave me a warm smile. “The truth sucks. Deal with it. It’s harsh, but necessary.” It was amazing how Neon could be straight with her no-bullshit answers, yet she had a way of not making it sound depressing and hurtful.
Neon pushed herself up and extended a hand. “You can’t ask for a better protector than Granite. Be thankful you have him on your side, whether you’re a redemption card or not.”
I placed my hand in hers, and she helped me up off the floor.
Neon was right. No matter what Granite’s motivation was, I was here, and I didn’t have any choice in the matter. What was done was done. And after what happened between Granite and me, there was no going back.
Neon stepped closer and placed her palms on my cheeks. “I have a good feeling about you, Swan Lake. You’re strong. And that’s all you need around here. Strength.”
I smiled half-heartedly. “I hope you’re right.”