“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
He hugged me so tight I could hardly suck in a breath. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want to breathe. It hurt too much. I wanted to go back in time and change everything that happened. I want to go back and have that life back inside me.
“Shhhh,” he cooed as I cried into his chest. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
I cried so hard. Grief and pain possessed me. “You left.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry.”
And then anger. “You fucking left!” I slammed my fists into his chest, crying, screaming. “You fucking left! You left!” I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop hurting him. I wanted him to feel my pain, my hurt, and I kept on hitting him. All he did was sit there, allowing me to take out every ounce of rage I had in me. He let me hit him. He let me hurt him until I had no more strength left.
I sobbed, wept like all hope in the world had been lost.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered as he pulled my face back to his chest. My body shook, my insides torn apart. I never knew something could hurt so much.
“Someone get me some warm water and a towel.” He brushed his fingers through my hair. “Tatum, I need you to do something for me.” He leaned back so that he could look at me. “I need you to close your eyes. And no matter what, do not open them. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded. Deep down, I knew why.
“Good.” He placed a kiss on my forehead. “Now close your eyes.”
I closed my eyes, and he moved away. My heart pounded and my broken soul sobbed as I felt Castello move around the bed. I felt him pull the sheets from beneath me, and in my mind I imagined what the sheets had to look like. I wasn’t far along. Only a few weeks, so it couldn’t have been more than just blood and clots.Two pink lines.
Tears continued to move down my cheeks.
“I need you to open your legs for me, okay?”
I hesitated. Soft moans and whimpers escaping me.
Two pink lines.
“Please, Tatum. Let me take care of you.”
Slowly I opened my legs, and when I felt the wet towel, I sucked in a breath. For the entire time Castello cleaned me, I bit down on my tongue, trying to choke back sobs. His touch was so gentle, so soft as he continued to clean my inner thighs, my legs, my behind. But the pain was still there, eating away at my insides, poisoning me, killing me.
“Don’t open your eyes. But I need you to lift your arms.”
I obeyed…like the good little pet that I was.
Castello slowly, gently pulled the rag over my shoulders and head. And then I felt soft fabric being pulled over my arms.
Two pink lines.
The mattress dipped. “You can open your eyes now.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay in the dark world of my mind. I didn’t want to see color or acknowledge my reality. I didn’t want to face the world where everything got taken away from me, where other people played God with my life, pulling all the strings and deciding my fate.
“Open your eyes, Tatum.”
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, choking on more tears.
“Open them.”
And I did. I managed to open my eyes and stare at the face I loved so much. His gaze never left mine as he slowly, gently buttoned up the shirt he had placed over my arms and shoulders. It was his shirt, since he wasn’t wearing one anymore.
I could see in his eyes that he knew. He knew everything. And I also saw my pain reflected in his dark irises. We both lost so much.
Someone snorted from across the room. “So considerate of you, brother, cleaning away the last remains of what once was your bastard child.”