Every goddamn night I had to listen to her moan and cry in her sleep. I knew it was her father’s image that plagued her nightmares. The blood. The death. The loss. And after yesterday, finding her in the bathroom on the floor slicing her skin, I knew she needed a way to let the pain drain out of her soul. That was why I brought her here today. That was the reason I made her pass judgement on the fucker who now had a bullet in his head. I was certain the sweet taste of revenge would calm her soul; it would comfort her, strengthen her. She just needed someone to push her, to force her into taking that leap, and that was what I did. I made her take the leap.
Her eyes opened, and she stared right at me. I could see the rage storming in the depths of her blue eyes. The hate, the hurt, the pain, it was all there. But I also saw determination burning like a newly lit fire, the flaming sparks threatening to scald whoever came in its path. It was goddamn poetic to see innocence turn into fierceness. To tell the truth, it was turning me the fuck on.
“We’re done here.” I placed my gun at my side and walked over to her, wrapping my arm around her waist.
As I ushered her out, she kept looking over her shoulder at the dead body. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. Almost as if she needed to make she would never forget the sight, the justice that had been done. Only when we were out in the hall and I closed the door did she look at me.
I took her face between my palms. “It had to be done.”
“I know.” There was no animosity or pain in her words. Everything about her seemed eerily calm.
I took her hand in mine. “I think you should rest.”
Maybe she was acting so calmly because she might be in shock. It wasn’t the first time she witnessed someone die. But it was the first time she was the one who passed judgement.
Getting her back to our bedroom, a place she had seen as her safe zone, was what she needed. Yes, I pushed her, but now I needed to take care of her.
She remained quiet as we walked up the stairs, keeping her gaze straight ahead. Perhaps I had pushed her too far? But wasn’t that the best way to learn how to swim—to get shoved in the deep end? There was no better way to test your strength than to be placed in a situation which demanded you survive…or die.
We reached our bedroom, and Tatum walked in first. I closed the door behind me, still wondering if I had gotten it all wrong.
“Tatum—”
“Thank you.”
I turned around slowly, narrowing my eyes, staring at her as she stood a few feet away.
“Thank you, Castello. Thank you for knowing what I needed, even though I didn’t.”
I searched her face, studied her eyes, but there was no trace of tears or regret. “Are you okay?”
She smiled. She actually fucking smiled, and it reached all the way to her eyes. “I’m more than okay. It scares me, knowing that witnessing a man die makes me feel…okay. But it also makes me feel like I finally have—”
“Control?”
She bit her bottom lip before answering, “Yes.”
Jesus Christ. How did I ever think she wouldn’t be strong enough? Now, while I stared at this beautiful creature in front of me, her eyes wild, beaming with life and strength, her face painted with newfound energy, I knew she was right where she was meant to be. By my side.
My body started to hum with a carnal desire, an uncontrollable need to take her. My cock was hard, my mind filled with nothing but images of her naked body beneath me, screaming my name while I fucked a whole lot of mind-numbing pleasure into her.
I slowly started toward her. “I told you, Tatum, you need to trust me because I know what you need.”
She stared at me with her blue eyes, and the brilliance that used to sparkle within those irises were back. “How?” she whispered softly.
I stopped right in front of her, my gaze never leaving hers. “Because I was there. I had that same need inside me once.”
Her eyes searched mine, her mouth parted slightly. “Carlo. You needed revenge for Carlo’s death.”
I didn’t reply. I didn’t have to. The answer was already there, filling the space between us like thick smoke.
She slanted her head to the side, her beautiful streaks of golden hair falling around her shoulder. “You needed revenge for your brother’s death, and that’s why you had me kidnapped. That’s why you plotted against my family…because it was the only way you could break through the wall of grief. Grief that had the power to destroy you.”
There was no judgement in her eyes while she spoke every word, no hostility or hatred as she figured out the motive behind the decisions I made in the past. The way she looked at me was as if she finally understood, as if my reason for wanting to ruin her life no longer seemed cruel to her.
She stepped closer, her sweet scent surrounding me, aggravating my already greedy cock.
“But something changed. Something happened, and it had the power to break through that wall you had without killing me.” Her soft palm came up to my cheek. “What changed, Castello? What was it that made you think I was worth more to your sanity alive than dead?”