“Same as what I do now except you know he has an entire chain of clubs all over the world. My guess is that he’d want me to develop shows for each of the clubs that is unique to their location and then train a dance instructor at each place.”
Jen played with the food on her plate. She’d been around and around this in her head and she still couldn’t decide if she should call him or not.
“Does he want you to live in New Zealand?”
“I’m not sure where he’s going to want me to live. But I like living here with you and Riley.”
Marcia sighed and then put on her big-sister face. That serious expression she got when she was about to give advice and make it stick. “You’ll never know what it is you are passing up if you don’t at least talk to the man.”
“Okay. I can talk to him, but what about our family?”
“Jen, we’re always going to be family no matter where you live. In fact, you’ll probably have a home of your own before too much longer if you stay here. Don’t let me and Riley make this decision for you.”
Jen shook her head. “This is too hard. It’s not like a dancing competition, you know. I loved that and I had to travel but this is my livelihood.”
“It’s life,” Marcia said. “Life is complicated.”
“Thanks for nothing,” Jen said with a small smile.
Marcia reached across the table and took the fork from her hand. “I wish I could tell you what to do and know that that would be the right decision, but I can’t. I won’t. You have to do this on your own.”
“I know that. I’m just not sure what I want.”
“Well, until you talk to him you don’t even know what he wants.”
“That’s true,” she admitted. “I guess I’ll give him a call. I can’t really leave now because of the tenth anniversary celebration at Luna Azul. I’m really busy there.”
“Stop making excuses. If you don’t want to call him then don’t,” Marcia said. “But make sure you are making this decision for yourself and not based on me and Riley or even Nate. If Nate loves you he’ll follow you wherever you go.”
Marcia made it sound so easy. “How do I know if he loves me?”
“Did you tell him you love him?” Marcia asked.
“Yes.”
She raised both eyebrows at her. “And…”
“He didn’t say anything. I mean he said thanks and that he cared for me and thought I was beautiful…”
“Oh, sweetie, I don’t know what to say. What does your heart tell you?” Marcia asked.
Jen leaned back in her chair and thought about her sister’s question. Her heart was just focused on Nate. She dreamed about him all night every night. Woke up the past two nights feeling afraid and alone. She wanted his arms around her and she slept better when he was with her.
“That I love him,” Jen said. “It all comes back to that. It doesn’t matter if he wants me or not, I still love him.”
Marcia shook her head. “I know that place and it sucks being there. But you have to make decisions that make sense to you.”
Jen had the feeling that Marcia was talking about her own relationship with Riley’s dad and not about Jen and Nate anymore. But Jen knew that there were similarities. “Why is love so hard for us?”
“Why should it be easy?” Marcia asked.
“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when you answer a question with a question?” Jen asked. “You always do that when you don’t have the answer. Why can’t you just say I don’t know?”
Marcia bit her lip and looked down. “I’m your big sister, Jen, I’m supposed to have the answers. I mean, it’s just you and me and Riley and I’m the one who has to know what’s going on.”
Jen reached for her sister and leaned across the table to hug her. “I’m grown-up now. We can take care of each other, okay?”
Marcia nodded. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m going to go meet Nate and see where that leads and then I’ll decide if I should call Russell. I don’t even really know anything about his clubs except their name. And that cute little koala bear logo they have.”
“I don’t know much about them, either. I will see what info I can find on the internet once I put Riley to bed.”
“Thanks, Marcia. I mean for always being here for me and giving me a place to live when I made a mess of my life.”
Marcia got up from the table and ruffled Jen’s hair as she walked into the kitchen to put the dishes away. “That’s what family is for.”