“Nope,” I said.
Sam and I had watched several videos together of flash mobproposals, and we’d convinced Conner that shorter could be sweeter in these situations. Sam had pointed out that ours would be made up of kids, which meant we should err on the side of brevity, and I’d pointed out that “Tubthumping” really was the same couple of parts repeated over and over, anyway. The plan was to keep the part until Conner came out under three minutes.
Still, I couldn’t deny that it was a pretty magical couple of minutes. Each time the song shifted from the chorus to the verse, another set of kids added to the bigger group. There was a girl in particular I couldn’t take my eyes off—chubby, with curly red hair and glasses, she was swinging her arms with the wildest abandon and lowest regard for anyone who might be standing near her. I almost saw her take out a skinny boy who kept glancing toward the pavilion, as if asking the adults what he should do.
Shani was entranced. At first, she clearly had no idea all this was for her—she was just enjoying the show. But by the second verse, it was obvious that the kids were forming a semicircle around us, and Shani glanced over at me like,What is going on?I just shrugged, but I couldn’t help the goofy grin I could feel stretch across my face.
And then the chorus after that, Sam came out dancing with the last group of kids to join, moving closer to us with this footwork that involved them crossing one foot over the other, doing a shoulder shimmy, stepping back, then doing it all over again. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat—he’d been out there for the last couple hours, after all, while Shani and I had been eating Thai food—but he looked so joyful and confident I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I hadn’t expected him to dance. We hadn’t discussed it. But it made sense that he would’ve learned this routine along with the kids, if he was the one who’d taught it to them.
The dancers formed one big group around us now, and on the periphery I saw several adults filming on their phones—not just the ones who must be parents or guardians of the kids participating, but other adults, too. Sam led the kids in one final move, where they all did an almost frantic jog in place, starting low and then getting higher and higher until they threw their hands in the air and started free-dancing, bobbing and shaking their hips and doing the robot. Sam looked like something out of a 1980s music video, the way he twirled in a circle, tossing his hair out of his eyes with the motion. He was wearing a plain white T-shirt and light jeans, his red sneakers a bright blur as he danced, a strip of colored boxers showing when he lifted his arms.
Everyone was still dancing, but they parted to show my brother standing there, his arms clasped behind his back. He’d really wanted to give Shani flowers, but I’d talked him out of it—she’ll need her hands free to accept the ring, I’d said—but I could see why he’d wanted them. It would’ve given him something to do with his hands, as he walked through the dancers toward Shani. But I thought it was better this way, more pure, nothing between them at all. The music was fading down, and I’d stepped to the side, letting them have their space.
“Oh my god,” Shani said, audible now over the quieter music. She’d started crying the second she spotted Conner, and I could tell that my brother was having a hard time holding it together, too. I glanced at Sam. The kids were still dancing around him, other kids from the playground joining in. But Sam had stopped,and was watching my brother get down on one knee. I sensed his attention shifting to me, but suddenly I couldn’t do it, didn’t know if I’d make it through this moment unless I kept my focus solely on my brother and Shani.
“Shani,” Conner said, then had to clear his throat. “I think you’re awesome. The absolute luckiest day of my life was when I met you, and I feel like I just keep getting luckier.” He’d taken the ring box out of his pocket but hadn’t opened it yet, and now he frowned down at it. “Although, wait, that would mean that the first day couldn’t have been the luckiest, if they kept getting better... but you know what I mean. I’m really lucky. That’s the point I’m trying to make. Sorry. I’d planned out much better stuff to say.”
I wished I could encourage him somehow, tell him he was doing fine. It was obvious he was speaking from the heart, and that was what mattered. Shani was shaking her head, hiccuping a little, but in the cute way that some girls can manage when they cry. I’d never been one of them. It was big ugly tears or gtfo.
“I want to have more and more lucky days with you, and not just luck but, like, work, too. Because it takes work to be in a relationship. Obviously. But with you it doesn’t feel like work, and... anyway, Shani, I love you. Will you marry me?”
She nodded, as though that were all she was capable of, before saying, “Yes.Yes!” Conner stood up to wrap her up in a hug and kiss before realizing that he’d never actually opened the ring box, so he handed it to her, and together they opened it up and put the ring on her finger. Conner had been positive it would fit perfectly because he’d come up with a sneaky plot to borrow one of her other rings and take it to get sized, and he gave me a big thumbs-upwhen she slid it on, as though I’d been somehow personally responsible for making it happen.
I gave him a thumbs-up back, still wiping a stray tear from my eye when Sam wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me toward him. “I think that went well,” he said.
“Fuck yeah it did,” I said, then glanced at all the kids around us. “I mean, yeah. It was pretty perfect. You’re a good dancer.”
“Not really,” Sam said. “I’ve never taken any classes or anything.”
“Still, you’re so...” I couldn’t think of the word I wanted.Sexywas true, but we were around all these kids, and anyway, that was only part of it.Infectious, maybe, like he was having fun and you wanted to have fun with him. It had almost made me want to dance and I never, ever did that.Free. Maybe that was the word.
He smiled down at me. “Hold that thought,” he said. “I have to go talk to the grown-ups real fast, thank them and the kids for coming out. I’ll be back.”
I wandered closer to Conner and Shani, wanting to congratulate them but not wanting to interrupt their moment. I hadn’t needed to worry, apparently, because as soon as they spotted me, they both attacked me with a group hug.
“I could not have done this without you,” Conner said. “I mean it.”
“It was mostly Sam,” I said. “His sound system, his kids, his dancing.” Then, just in case Shani now thought that my having lunch with her had solely been an obligation for this, I added truthfully to her, “I’m just glad I got to spend a little time gettingto know you better this afternoon, now that you’re going to be my sister.”
Wow. That felt weird to say.
“No, not just today,” Conner said. “All of it. I know you have your own life, and your essay about serial killers or whatever, but having you here this summer...”
For about the runtime of “Tubthumping,” I’d managed to forget about my advisor’s comments and the huge amount of work I’d have to do to get back on track, but now the pit of dread settled right back at the bottom of my stomach. “It’s no problem,” I said. “Actually, though, I do need to get some stuff done, if you don’t mind me heading out... maybe we could plan a celebratory dinner this week?”
“Sounds good,” Conner said. “Love ya, Pheebs.”
“You, too.” I smiled at Shani to let her know she was included in that sentiment, however poorly expressed it was.
I made my way over to the pavilion, where most of the people had dispersed, but Sam was crouched down, his elbows resting on his knees, talking to the skinny kid who’d almost gotten taken out by the joyous arms of the red-haired girl. I saw him as a teacher then, could picture the way he’d be in a classroom, encouraging kids to really go for it with the xylophones.
It was wild, how off my initial perception of him had been. The truth was that this Sam scared me more. He seemed like he was from a different planet, one where dancing was fun and families were big and happy. And I was from some other distant, lonely star, my lungs incapable of breathing his planet’s atmosphere.
Maudlin thoughts, and I didn’t know why I was having them. The whole day had been a roller coaster, from getting that email from my advisor this morning until Conner’s proposal to Shani. What I probably needed was sleep, to reset from zero.
“I was trying to listen to the count in my head like you told us,” the kid was telling Sam, “but I messed up. The slow parts are hard.”