“Do you need anything? I’ve got some water here. More pills. A granola bar…”
“Gotta piss.” Nolan winced. The last thing he wanted was to get up, especially if it meant leaving Jace behind, but there was no helping it.
“You’ve been out for most of the day. Hang on. I’ll help you up.” Jace rolled from bed and to his feet with the agility of a jungle cat, making Nolan feel like an overgrown oaf when he couldn’t coordinate his limbs properly. He paused only to drop a light kiss on Laurel’s forehead where she dozed on the pillow beside his.
“She’s going to be pissed. Her eyes only closed a few minutes ago. She’s been staring at you the whole time as if she doesn’t believe you’re still here.” Jace winced, then ducked, looping Nolan’s arm around his shoulders.
“I can make it on my own,” Nolan grumbled. “Not the first time I’ve been hurt on the job, you know?”
“Probably better if I don’t think about it.” Jace sighed and practically carried Nolan to the bathroom in their bungalow at Hot Rides.
When he’d finished and washed his hands, he seemed steadier on his feet, though he didn’t move Jace’s arm from its half-hug, mostly because the comforting weight reminded him they were still here. Still together. At least for the moment.
Jace ushered him back to bed and fluffed his pillow. They were careful not to jostle each other both to keep from irritating his sore muscles and so that Laurel could catch up on her sleep. Face to face in the soft light, Nolan studied Jace’s eyes, surprised when the other guy hardly met his stare.
“I’m sorry for the shit I said when we found out about the meet-up.” Jace looked like he’d been burning with regret since the moment he’d rightfully reminded Laurel that Nolan was a murderer.
“Why? You weren’t wrong. I slaughtered that fucker and I didn’t even feel bad about it. Still don’t.” Nolan would have shrugged if his shoulder weren’t buzzing with masked pain.
“Yeah, well, if I’d had the chance I’d have killed him too.” Jace leaned in and brushed his lips over Nolan’s. “I’ll owe you for the rest of my days for saving Laurel. I couldn’t live without her, you know that.”
Nolan wished he didn’t remember the gun pointed at her or the flash from the muzzle that had blinded him as he’d leapt, unsure about whether or not he’d been soon enough. “I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me. But I’m glad it went the right way. It was entirely too close. Fuck.”
“It worked out. I should have trusted you. I’m sorry.” Jace winced. “I’ll try to be better about that from now on.”
Nolan touched a faint scar on Jace’s cheek, brushing his thumb over it. “I know how Laurel got mixed up with Draven’s trafficking, but…what about you? What happened? Who let you down?”
“My parents, I guess. Dad bailed before I was in kindergarten, not that anyone made me go to school much anyway. My mom shopped around for a replacement with a chain of guys, anyone she thought had enough money to get us by. When I was ten, she found someone who wanted her, but not her baggage. She moved in with him and I wasn’t invited. Came home one day to the apartment empty of her shit and the landlady asking for rent.”
“Son of a bitch!” Nolan growled, wishing he could rewind time.
Jace shrugged. “It wasn’t so bad. I fended for myself on the street, living in parks in the summer and surfing couches when the weather got cold. I wasn’t a teenager for long before I realized I could earn enough to feed myself and get a room somewhere on the coldest nights by charging for BJs I would have given for free in the park bathrooms anyway. Or for letting some of the creepy older guys jerk me off. It was easy money.”
“No. No, it wasn’t.” Nolan opened his arms and let Jace decide if contact would be helpful or harmful right then.
Their hearts beat against each other when he snuggled up to Nolan gingerly and sighed. “It was better than when I got a little older and started getting beat up and stiffed instead of paid. Or when guys a lot bigger than me wanted more than oral and decided just to take it. So when one of Draven’s guys decked a jerk, got me my cash, and promised to cover my ass for a cut… Well, I was stupid and took him up on it. And when he convinced me to go to a party where I could work somewhere clean and fancy as fuck instead of next to a toilet that hadn’t been cleaned in three months, I signed up for that too. I just didn’t realize it was a one-way ticket.”
Nolan rocked them as Jace painted a picture that made him wish he could kill Draven all over again.
“I like to tell myself it was worth it because I found Laurel. Whether either of us likes to admit it, she needed me same as I needed her. I wouldn’t have survived those years without her.” Jace closed his eyes briefly.
Nolan smoothed the lines in his brows until he blinked his eyes open again.
It surprised him when the mattress dipped behind him and Laurel rotated to fit herself to him, stretching. Their talking must have roused her. She kissed his shoulder softly, whispering his name. The spirals she rubbed along his spine with her fingertips eased his discomfort.
“I was ready to give up before you appeared and made us a team.” Laurel reached across Nolan and cupped Jace’s cheek.
“But you didn’t. You’re a fighter.” Jace turned his face to kiss her palm. “And so is Nolan. I love that about both of you, even when I don’t deserve you. I’ll do my best not to let my scars fuck me up so badly that I can’t fully put my faith in both of you now. I do, it’s just…in that moment, when things started to unfold…panic overtook logic. I’m sorry.”
“I understand.” Nolan leaned in and kissed Jace. “You’ve only ever been betrayed before, except by Laurel. You expected the worst from me, but I swear to you that if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that I’m not like every other man who’s ever been a part of yours.”
Nolan took a deep breath, then put his heart on the line. It beat faster than when he’d leapt in front of Draven’s bullet. “I don’t want to be just another hookup you can keep at arm’s length because you’re afraid of being betrayed or disappointed. If you let me, I’d like to love you—both of you—and hope that I never let you down.”
He rotated his head as far as his sore muscles would allow so that he could peer up at Laurel too. A tear spilled from the corner of her eye, sailed down her cheek, and splashed onto his shoulder.
Nolan rolled to his back so he could clasp one of each of their hands as they bracketed him in bed. “I mean, unless I’ve done my part by bringing you two together. If that’s what my purpose was, I understand and I’m grateful I could do it.”
“You’re trying to get out of this?” Jace raised a brow, nearly falling back into old habits. “Nah. You’re not. You’re scared. You dumbass, don’t you understand?”