6
Joy didn’t know what had possessed her to fling such an obvious and hurtful lie in Walker’s face, except maybe the desire to wound him as badly as he kept doing to her, even if inadvertently.
How dare he tell Angus where she was?
How could she trust him or Dane when they kept betraying her?
Now, last year, and a long time ago too.
It would have been nice to have even a single night where she didn’t have to worry about that bastard or Clive coming to reclaim her—and her baby, who would become a trophy for both of those control freaks.
“You don’t mean that, do you?”Dane asked quietly, careful not to rouse Arden.His tender care melted Joy’s heart and her ire along with it.
“No.”She shook her head.What people thought of her for her decision to sleep with both of these men—at once—was irrelevant.Especially because she wouldn’t change it for the world.But she didn’t want them to think she’d left their bed for Clive’s either willingly or not.
Joy shrugged, attempting to let the shame and embarrassment roll off her shoulders along with so many other injustices.What was one more?
A lot.Because coming clean to Walker and Dane about her sexual history meant humiliating herself in front of the only two men she’d ever cared for or willingly allowed to possess her body.So what if it had been at the same damn time?
Joy loved them.Or she had.
At the moment she wasn’t sure if the intense emotion inside her was more that or hate.
Funny how they could be so intertwined sometimes.
“What do you want me to say?”Joy asked.“That she’s yours or that she’s not, so you can go on about your life guilt-free?”
Arden was the best thing to ever happen to her.If they didn’t see it the same way, then fuck them.
It was Walker who answered right away, catching her off guard.“I didn’t know I wanted kids until I saw you walk through that garage door with her in your arms.But now I think it might kill me if you tell me she didn’t come from that night we spent together.”
“Say she’s ours,” Dane pleaded.“Yours, mine, and Walker’s.”
“Is that a thing?”Joy looked between the guys sheepishly.
“Technically, I suppose not.”Dane held Arden close to his chest, rocking her as surely as if he’d been doing it for years.“But if she’s mine or if she’s Walker’s, it feels better to me than if she’s not either of ours at all.And hell, no matter who donated the sperm, I’m more than willing to step up.I’m tired of missing out.I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“Me either.”Joy looked up at Dane then.He’d always been her ideal partner.When they were teenagers he’d been her first love, until her feelings for Walker—the son of the man her mother had married—had confused her.And then Clive had ruined any chance of them figuring things out between the three of them.
None of them were able to function properly in the aftermath of that trauma.
She put her arms around Dane’s waist, the gesture as familiar as if she’d done it ten minutes ago instead of ten years ago, and tucked in beside their daughter.It might have exposed her weakness, but she couldn’t deny that she felt stronger by his side.“She’s yours.One of yours.I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“Since the night we spent together, you mean?”Walker asked, a softness coming over his expression as he studied her resting in his best friend’s embrace.
“Not ever.Unless you count the night Clive raped me.Which I definitely do not.”She leaned into Dane when he clutched her to him tighter, his fingers digging into her hip.
Walker’s jaw hung open.“Do you mean to say…?”
“Yeah, I was pretty much a born-again virgin until you two had your way with me then disappeared last winter.”She shrugged, as if it meant nothing to her.Not the impact of Clive’s attack or the fact that they had been able to overcome her massive inhibitions before taking off.
“I’m sorry, Joy.So sorry,” Dane said in a rush.Whether he was apologizing for abandoning her recently, or for what had happened to her that summer night so long ago, or the varsity-level sexathon they’d engaged in despite her inexperience she wasn’t sure.Probably all of the above.Though he’d had nothing to do with it, he’d always felt responsible for Clive’s attack and the fact that they hadn’t been home to stop it.
Beating the shit out of the guy was what had put Dane on the radar of the military recruiter in the first place.Angus had told the guy about Dane, what he’d done, and how he needed some discipline to harness his “aggressive” tendencies.
Of course it had all been bullshit.Dane would never harm someone without a good reason.And Angus had been threatened by the strength of Walker and Dane’s friendship, even then.It made Walker way more difficult to mold into the perfect little Wildfire minion.So he’d hoped to get rid of him.
The fact that Dane had lost his cool over the things that had been done to her had both soothed her and made her feel guilty at the same time.It was because of her that he’d shipped out.Nobody, not herself and especially not Angus, had expected Walker to go with him when he left.