“But your ink?”
“Can wait. I want her to have what she wants.”
“You’re sure?” Robin asked.
“It’s not every day my girl decides she wants to mark her skin. I’d like to be here for the process. At least where I’m not having to hold her down.”
She refused to think about that. That was a whole other time, other world. Sitting down on the chair, she lifted her shirt while Trick did whatever he had to do in order to ink her body.
This was right.
She knew it was.
There was a deep sense of calm to her as he put the point of the ink to her flesh and started.
****
One week later
Robin stood in yet another bathroom. The new ink was already healing. The salve Trick had given her was amazing. She’d followed his instructions exactly, and now she stood with a beautiful design on her body.
Even though it wasn’t completely healed yet, she knew she was going to love it.
“Feel like a rebel yet?” he asked.
“No. Why would you even think this makes me feel like a rebel?” she asked, laughing.
“I don’t know. It’s a good look on you, though.”
“You like it? Do you think it’s sexy?”
“I think you’re sexy. Does that count?” he asked.
“A little bit.” She dropped her shirt and walked toward him, kissing his cheek.
“I’ve got to ask.”
“What?”
“Did you expect me to not give you permission or something?”
“I don’t know. I guess so. You’ve kind of controlled every other area of my life, why not this one?” She shrugged.
“I’m doing this to keep you safe, you have to understand that.”
“I do. Believe me, I really do. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just in a weird mood right now. It has nothing to do with you, I swear.”
“What does it have to do with?” he asked. “You can share with me.”
“I don’t know. With the ink, it just got me thinking about before, you know.”
“Your time with Preacher?”
She moved out of his arms, walking into the main part of a new hotel room. This one was crappy. The walls were a dull yellow, and it looked like there was damp in the corners. The beds weren’t made and she didn’t want to even think about the stains on the blankets. The reception worker was a young kid, who didn’t really care, and he’d been playing some kind of videogame, not exactly dedicated. She went to sit on the edge of the bed and thought better of it. The floor wasn’t even much better.
Wrinkling her nose, she turned around. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
“Let’s go,” he said.
They made their way outside. She wore one of the heavy jackets he’d bought for her, and she took it, grateful for anything to ward off the cold.
Reaper gave instructions to his men before they headed out. She stretched out her neck, lifting her arms and trying to loosen up her body. She was wound so tight right now, and she needed to focus on everything else.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
They left the hotel room. Reaper rarely used places near built-up towns or cities. He avoided places with a lot of traffic and cameras. He’d been staying off the radar for a long time.
“You want to talk?”
“Not everything I talk about is going to be about Preacher. I hope you know that.”
“He was a big part of your life.”
“Not really.”
Reaper snorted.
“I’m twenty years his junior. You do get that, right? It’s why I know I had a whole life before Preacher. You know, my time with Bishop.”
“Do you really want to keep reminding me of the other men in your life?”
“Why not? You’ve had other women.”
“And they’re not still around.”
“Look, I can’t change my past for what it is. Preacher was part of the last year before you took me. The pregnancy, the responsibility, all of it, he was there. He didn’t have to be, but he was by my side and I knew with him, I wasn’t alone. Bishop, as you know, he was a dick. All he thought about was himself, and I couldn’t rely on him.” She waved her arms, trying to think of the right thing to say but drawing a blank in every single direction. “I … I never knew what I wanted out of life.”
“What do you mean?”
“The club was everything. I had my mom telling me constantly my only place was to be one of the women to the men. An old lady. There was no care about what I wanted or who I wanted to be. It was firm, direct, you will be an old lady. You’re Bear’s daughter, and your only place is now and will always be at the club.” She took a deep breath. “Graduating, college, it was never a consideration.”
“Did you want to do all of that?”
“I honestly don’t know, and the reason I don’t know is because I’ve never given myself a chance to want it. What was the point if the first time it was in reach, it was taken from me? Am I making any sense at all?”