“No, I really don’t want to talk about anything. I just want to … I want to forget.”
“There’s no forgetting, Robin.”
“I know. I’m trying to find an easy answer. It’s not like I even knew her, you know. I didn’t get to hold her. I felt her kick, and she’d move around.” She shook her head as the tears started to fall, and she couldn’t stop them.
Preacher pulled her into his arms.
She didn’t fight him.
Wrapping her arms around his back she held onto him, not wanting to let go.
“I’ve got you,” he said.
Sobbing against his chest didn’t help her, but it at least allowed her the chance to mourn.
Preacher stroked her back, his fingers sliding between the strands of her hair. His touch felt amazing to her.
She rested her head against his jacket and breathed him in.
“I know I’m not much of a person to talk to, but if you ever need me, all you’ve got to do is call me and I’ll be there, I promise.”
She tilted her head back, and smiled.
“Okay?”
He cupped her face, wiping away the tears. His touch was so soft.
They both pulled away from each other as the door opened and closed.
Bishop entered the kitchen seconds later and she was already preparing herself a sandwich.
“Hey, all,” Bishop said. He walked to her, put a hand on her waist, and kissed her head. She tried not to tense up.
It was getting harder to accept any kind of physical contact from him as the days passed.
“You’re in a chipper mood,” she said.
“I am. I’ll have a sandwich if you’re making for everyone. Dad, I’ve got to talk to you.”
“In my office.”
She watched both men leave. It was club stuff. From what she knew so far, Preacher hadn’t hit out at O’Klaren, but she knew he would. It would only be a matter of time. The cop himself hadn’t been by to talk to her.
She’d not seen him either, and she didn’t know exactly what she’d do if the cop came near her. Because of him, she’d lost her little baby, and she hated the man for it.
She’d never been one for hatred, but knowing what he’d done and what it had cost her, she wanted him to hurt.
With all three sandwiches complete, she walked to the dining room, sitting down.
Preacher and Bishop joined her.
She took a bite out of her sandwich and stared across the room.
Silence hung heavy in the air.
“There’s something I wanted to ask you, the both of you,” she said.
“What is it?” Bishop asked.
“I know we’re married, but I was thinking if we should get it annulled.”
“Why the fuck would you want to do that?” Bishop asked.
“We’re not together. We’ve never been together, and now the baby is gone, there’s no reason for us to stay married.”
“Robin, you’re my wife, and we both know this is how it was always going to be with us. We’re together. You don’t have to try and annul anything. Nothing has changed.”
“Okay, then do you want me to leave? To move out? I was only here because of the baby, and with the baby gone, there’s no reason for me to remain here.”
“There’s every single reason,” Bishop said.
“Robin, you don’t have to leave,” Preacher said. “I know there’s a lot going on for you right now, but I’m not going to be pushing you away. You’re more than welcome to stay here for as long as you want. I won’t push you out. The decision is up to you. Do you want to leave?”
She shook her head. The thought of going home, living with her parents again, it held no appeal. In fact, it scared her a little bit.
“I don’t want to go back home.”
“Then it’s settled,” Bishop said. “You don’t have to go home. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. You’ll stay here. We’ll stay married, and we’ll find a way to make this all work and be happy.”
Robin nodded. She finished her sandwich and got to her feet.
One day at a time.
It was the piece of advice Randall had given to her. She had to take her life one day, and the pain would eventually lessen.
She took a deep breath, and released it, then another one.
She hoped one day the pain, the anger, the hurt, would all fade away because there were moments she felt like it was going to consume her and there wouldn’t be anything left.
****
Days were long.
They sucked the life out of her, and made her wish for death. Robin tried. She really did, and she put on a brave face. Listening to all of her teachers, taking on all the assignments, catching up with all the work. When it came to college applications, she’d stopped.
Right now, she didn’t want to even think of college, or the future. All she could focus on was one day at a time. It was all she could do. One day at a time.