Crawling across the floor towards the shower, I pulled myself up and turned on the water. I was so cold, yet at the same time I was rapidly becoming drenched with sweat. I was shaking, and I just kept thinking that if I could get warm, I would feel ten times better. I stumbled into the shower and sunk down onto the tile floor, putting my head between my knees, the hot water running over me as my pain threatened to drown me. Sticky, tar-like pain that was filling my lungs and covering every limb.
Why wouldn’t it wash off?
The commenters had been agreeing with her. Agreeing with how I looked. About me being a whore. I was starting to agree with her, also. I mean, why would so many people lie about that?
Eventually the shower ran cold, my shattered thoughts only worsening as my trembling increased. When I finally stopped the water, I pulled myself out and sat down against the glass wall, sinking in on myself as I felt myself wanting to throw up again.
I would never forget this moment.
There were moments in life, so seemingly insignificant, that had the capacity to change everything. Moments that you would remember until the day you died. Moments that made you feel… like you wanted to die.Thiswas one of those moments.
One of those moments where I realized that everything was spinning out of control at once. That everything in my life was falling apart, ripping at the seams, as if someone was tearing me up piece by piece.
My forehead touched the cold, hard floor of my bathroom as I curled in on myself, a sob breaking from my throat.
How had I gotten here? How had I found myself stuck in such a horrible situation?
My throat burned.
Tears streamed down my face.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
I had lied—I would never perfect the art of suffering in silence.I wouldn’t last that long.
I knew that like I knew my last name. I was about to hit rock bottom, and I wanted it to end. I had never in my life wanted to just stop living as much as I did in this moment. I couldn’t do this anymore.
At some point, there was a knock on my bedroom door.
I wasn’t surprised, and I couldn’t hide the truth anymore. Accepting my fate and embarrassment, I dragged myself towards the door, trailing water from my soaked clothes across the way before pulling it open. I was fully expecting it to be one of my guys.
And it was… sort of. Dermot stood there, his slight concern turning into full-blown shock, probably mixed with horror, at my appearance. His arms almost instantly locked around me, pulling me hard against his chest as I let out a small whimper.
He knew.
Dermot let out a low rumble as he gently ushered me back into the room, kicking my bedroom door shut behind us as he led me towards the bed. I began to shake even more, and he looked down at my clothes before tugging off my heavy sleeveless top, the sound of the wet material hitting the floor, leaving me in just a sports bra. Unlike my normal reaction, I didn’t even blush as he hooked his thumbs in the band of my athletic shorts and slid them down my legs. My skin broke out into shivers, the reality of being practically naked in front of him breaking through the haze slightly, but he didn’t seem to notice as he grabbed a quilt from the end of my bed and wrapped me in it.
I watched his lips move, making me realize that he was saying something, but the dull buzzing in my ears had me unable to process it. I knew I was having a panic attack. The worst yet. But it didn’t change anything. I couldn’t function or focus right now. I was just here, existing. Barely.
“Dahlia, sweetheart,” his compelling accent finally broke through my numbness. “I need you to get under the covers. Your lips are blue and you look like you’re about to pass out.”
I was. Nodding like a twit, I couldn’t get my body to move, and Dermot seemed to make an executive decision as I stared up at him with unblinking, wide eyes. He easily lifted me up and onto the bed before sliding onto it himself and pulling me against him, my body curling against his as my head buried against his warm chest.
“They are everywhere, D,” I whispered as I searched his green eyes. It didn’t help that my family’s name was so large. I knew people would focus on this. After this weekend? After I was attacked? Yeah, this was a lost cause.
Dermot inhaled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t worry, baby girl, we will figure it out. Trust me?”
“Yes.”
I did. I wasn’t positive it was valid trust, but it was very much trust. His arms tightened around me as I found myself falling asleep, the light humming that came from his throat vibrating his chest. As my body deflated, I began to float between the land of consciousness and sleep, the adrenaline slowly draining from my body as I gave into the numbness that I knew would protect me.
“Dahlia?”
That was Kingston’s voice, and I could hear feet on the stairs. When my bedroom door flung open, the intensity seemed to drop into something darker. I wanted to see King’s expression, but I was so comfortable, the concept of opening my eyes seemed like a lot of work. Plus, this could be a dream, and if so, I wanted to stay wrapped in it. Safely.
“She finally fell asleep.” Dermot’s accent was thick and full of anger that wasn’t reflected in the way he held me. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to wake her up yet.”
“We were just fucking notified, how long has she known about them? How the hell have they been up for so long?” I could hear a vibrating fury, and I would bet a million dollars that he was clenching his jaw tight enough to shatter it. I wanted to calm him, but I couldn’t. I was absolutely exhausted, my form sunk into the bed.