I shouldn’t have been surprised by that.
The group of them had a serious problem.
Like I was any better.
Throughout most of high school, I had kept away from Dahlia and my friends. Partly because of what had been going on with my family, but also largely because I didn’t trust myself around Dahlia. At all. When my emotions started changing for her, and the physical reaction I had to her evolved from a warm affection to something far more frustrating… I knew I needed to keep my distance. I didn’t have the same level of control as the others.
Even now I didn’t trust myself around her. Besides not being good enough for her and not controlled enough… there was something I wanted from my angel that I knew I could never ask for. Something that I didn’t deserve.
She was like this beautifully stunning sculpture that I was bound to shatter, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to do it anyway. To hold her tight enough that she broke apart in my arms. My urge to keep her on a pedestal was in direct contrast to the dark, debased shit that I fantasized about doing to her. It made no sense. I didn’t deserve it, but all I wanted, more than anything, was Dahlia’s absolute and complete submission.
I wanted to do things to her that I knew should scare her, and I couldn’t help it.
I would just need to keep it together, keep her safe and love her like she deserved to be loved. I should be lucky to have her in my life instead of thinking of all the shit I wanted from her. That was the issue with Dahlia. I was always pushing for more. It would never be enough. It was a clawing, desperate, almost feral need.
When we were in school, I had consistently kept an eye on her while trying to maintain my distance. It had literally been painful to see her walking around all day, smiling at people who didn’t deserve it, while I was forced to stay away. To not touch her. Not to mention how hard it had been this past summer when I’d woken up to the goddamn angelic sight of her stretched out in scraps of fabric by the pool, practically naked. I don’t think I had been soft or not frustrated for months.
Even her name got me hard. It was ridiculous.
But now that wasn’t a problem anymore. I was done fighting it.
I pulled into my driveway, killing my bike and taking off my helmet as she parked her car between our two houses and stepped out of the vehicle, flashing me a small smile and offering a sleepy little yawn. God, she was adorable.
“Where the hell have you been?!” Yates snarled, clearly trying to keep his voice down as I walked towards her. I offered King a nod in greeting, his gaze on mine with curiosity, but he didn’t seem pissed, just concerned. He knew I would never put her in danger. At least not on purpose. Whether her little ass listened to me or not was a different story.
“Oh, don’t you yell at me!” she chided while scowling as he wrapped his arms around her. I knew things had been changing lately—I could feel it—and it almost felt like a divine intervention that I’d finally given into her, because I didn’t want to be left out of her life. That realization had me knowing I had never truly planned on staying away in the first place.
“She showed up at one of my fights,” I drew easily as Dahlia groaned, scowling at me while looking skyward with frustration.
“What the f-fuck?” Lincoln demanded as I offered him a look. Obviously, I hadn’t fucking invited her.
“I snuck out,” Dahlia voiced as they all looked at her with wide eyes. “He didn’t even know.”
“You fight?” Dermot asked curiously. I offered a sharp nod as he seemed to absorb that before nodding with interest, his eyes going back to Dahlia. She was offering the twins and King a ‘so what?’ look that was sassy enough my cock twitched. Fucking hell. Yates stared at her with a stupid smile that he immediately hid when she looked up at him. Fucking psycho.
“Why?” King demanded. “Why wouldn’t you tell us?”
“I had something I needed to handle by myself,” Dahlia explained, putting up her chin, making me almost sigh like a stupid lovesick idiot.
“Handle yourself?” Sterling mused, his eyes lighting up as Yates tilted her chin up and offered her an incredulous expression.
“Yes, I do handle things on my own sometimes.” She grinned and then looked at them. “You asked why I went?”
“Yes,” King growled, looking more confused than anything.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed, and I looked down at it, noting that the food delivery was at our gate. Dahlia spun out of Yates’s grip and moved past me, tossing back a comment that was far more serious than her tone implied.
“Stratton wouldn’t accept my feelings for him, so I came to cheer him on. I needed a way to prove to him that I didn’t give a rat’s ass about money or anything like that. Now he knows how I feel, and he promised he isn’t going to keep being distant, right?”
“Right, angel.” I shook my head, unable to hold in my laugh. She flashed me a smile that made it worth it as Lincoln jogged after her, probably not wanting her to go grab the delivery food alone. I nearly went to help but then realized this was the perfect moment to talk to the others.
“What the hell happened?” King demanded, quietly but sharply. “You could have told us what was going on this entire time, and you just what? Decided not to?”
Ah, it was clear that Dahlia had filled him in on what was occurring. Honestly, that didn’t even surprise me. Saved me from having to bite the bullet and admit that I was goddamn broke as shit.
I grunted and put my head back. “I don’t know what you want me to say. MeMaw got sick, and I realized we were totally fucked financially. You know I like to handle shit on my own. But I was always there when you guys needed me over the years.”
“Burying a body isn’t the same thing as having a beer together,” Sterling countered, narrowing his gaze. He had a fair point.