Ledger groaned, breaking me from my thoughts. “Fuck, I forgot we have to wear those stupid uniforms.”
“Uniforms?” I asked, finding myself both concerned about his annoyed tone and curious what he would look like in a uniform. I was assuming he didn’t mean his school one either, although he did look very handsome in that.
Anani nodded, walking towards a dark suitcase that was sitting on the couch positioned near the balcony doors. He easily pulled out a stack of clothes that looked thick and dark in material. My eyes, though, were instantly drawn to the top garment that was a cream, gold, and brown color, with a crest displayed prominently in an embroidered metallic gold. The crest featured six dragons, seeming to circle in a flying pattern, with a streak of blue that circled the center. It was a bird, a stunning one, and my fingers were slightly shaky as I ran my fingers over it, wondering if it was normal to be so easily transfixed by a garment.
Then again, shiny and glittery items seemed to be my choice over everything else.
“Last time I had one of these on was when we left the realm,” Anani mused, his tone tinted with a sadness that I didn’t like at all. I looked up to find his gaze on the crest, seemingly not one hundred percent in the present. My gaze darted to Ledger, who was watching his brother with the same amount of concern that I was feeling.
“Are you excited to go back?” I hedged softly.
I had a feeling of the answer before I asked it, but it was possible I was reading the situation wrong. My chest squeezed, remembering that all my mates had families and lives that they had left behind before coming here. A small bit of envy struck through me. I knew that I had a family now—everything they did reassured me of that—yet nonetheless, I found myself jealous. And concerned. What if they went to the Dreki realm and decided that they didn’t want to come back?
“No.”
Anani’s answer was immediate and edged in a hardness that quickly resolved my previous concern. I wasn’t a fan of the pain or darkness flashing through his gaze, but it did reassure me that he did not, in fact, want to stay in the Dreki realm.Why?I didn’t know yet, but I wanted to. I didn’t like not understanding the things that seemed to affect my mates, especially if they caused such a negative reaction.
“No?” I questioned as Ledger stood from the bed and Anani came to sit next to me, examining my no doubt questioning expression. Ledger was sorting through uniforms, but I didn’t think he was actually focused on it. Rather the opposite—he seemed a million miles away.
“We don’t see our family anymore. Actually, our father is technically not allowed to contact us. It was something Marco passed through the council almost immediately,” Ledger explained simply, his tone betraying a sense of indifference that didn’t match the rumbling in his chest.
I wanted to push for more information, but I also knew that could sometimes make things worse. I felt my chest tighten, remembering how patient they had been when I’d first arrived in Washington and hadn’t questioned the situation with my mother or Jed. Well, they had questioned it, but the twins specifically had been careful about pushing me. Something I was both recognizing and appreciating in retrospect. I had needed a push, but if someone had pushed me too soon… I’m not sure what would have happened, honestly. It almost felt like that moment was a lifetime away.
That version of Maya was a far cry from the woman that I was right now, and not just because of what I was experiencing or how I was dressing. No, it went deeper than that. Now I had a home. I had a place where I could be safe and vulnerable, even though everything I had been taught should have left me with a fear of trusting people. It made me want my mates to trust me as much as I trusted them, to open up to me.
“Why did he do that? And what about your mom?” I asked softly before adding, “If you don’t want to tell me, I also understand.” I just didn’t want them thinking I didn’t care, because I very much did.
“So he couldn’t try to pull us back or… use our status and the placement we had within the guard more than he already had.” Ledger’s throat produced a wounded noise as Anani buried his nose against my throat while wrapping his arms around my waist, his entire frame tense and uncomfortable.
Anani answered my second question, almost in a whisper. “Our mom died when we were born. I think it’s one of the reasons our father has always been… difficult.”
“Their father is an abusive piece of shit,” Sai leveled, his voice filling the space and making me immediately look towards where he strolled in from the balcony. Sai had a bit of a temper. Never with me, but I could see it flash in his gaze sometimes. The concept of the twins’ situation clearly bothered him, and the way he walked over had me reaching a hand out towards him, wishing in some ways I had waited to ask about this. I hadn’t wanted to bring up such a negative situation, especially right before leaving for the realm where all of this had happened.
That was right about when his words fully registered to me.
Abusive? The twins had been abused? The fact that they said their mom died giving birth to them was horrifying, but the concept of them being hurt and mistreated superseded that as I blinked in shock, trying to process the information. My chest seized up as I examined both of the twins’ faces that despite being fairly even in nature, carried a weight of sadness I never would have expected from them. Something dark crawled up my throat as my heart began to race, making me feel almost lightheaded. Fury and a sense of broken pain worked its way through me.
No.Absolutely not.
I couldn’t rationalize that.
It was hard for me to rationalize how I had allowed myself to be treated so poorly for so long… but there was a part of me that would always believe that maybe my mom was right. Maybe I did deserve it. But the twins? Absolutely not. There was nothing any of my mates could ever do to deserve that. The thought had me feeling dizzy. I blinked, trying to clear my thoughts.
My voice was soft and choked when I spoke. “He hurt you? Physically?”
“Yes.” Anani nodded, his eyes flashing dark as I inhaled sharply. My jaw clenched as I tried to calm myself down, my skin feeling like it was starting to burn from the inside out. Ledger made a soft worried noise as his hands ran along my arms, a sound of anger at their story nearly breaking from my throat. The fluttering sensation in my chest was growing, and I felt my vision blur at the concept of someone hurting them.
Even thinking of hurting them.
“Maya, kitten, you need to breathe.” Sai tugged me from the bed and grasped my face, making me realize that I was shaking and that was why the room around me was so disorienting.
His accented voice and glinting dark eyes had me feeling a bit more centered as I breathed in his cinnamon scent. My hands shook as I gripped the soft shirt he wore, wanting to bury my nose against his chest until I could get a hold of myself. I could see tension in his tall, muscular frame, his deep tan and gold runes standing out in comparison to the soft, pale-colored room around us.
He was so beautiful that it was actually painful to look at him right now, the man seeming to be lit from within like a fire. My fingers shakily ran over his dark obsidian-colored hair that laid to his shoulders in a messy, slightly damp fashion. I found myself nearly mesmerized by his gaze as my breathing began to return to normal, and I found myself nodding and clearing my headspace.
Clearly the concept of the twins being hurt—any of my mates being hurt—was a bit upsetting to me, to say the least.
“Sorry,” I whispered, my cheeks turning bright red as I buried myself in his chest, worried about meeting the twins’ gazes because I had such an extreme reaction to something they had gone through. It didn’t change how I felt, but nonetheless, I was embarrassed.