“Oh nothing, I’m just feeling very sad all of a sudden.” Her worried frown was just what I was after, for starters at least. And when she came over and took my arm I knew that nothing had changed between us, that she was still very much in my corner and had no reason to see through me like I’d begun to fear.
“Well what’s making you sad?” She led me to the settee to sit still holding onto my arm. I laid my head on her shoulder the way I did when I was a child and waited for her hand to brush my hair. As soon as I felt her fingers moving through the light wisps of my fair locks I breathed easy.
I lowered my head just a little so that the smile that came across my face was hidden from her view and so she had no idea I was spinning a yarn when I told her how much I was missing my parents, how lost and alone I felt while everyone was in a celebratory mood. I didn’t mention Lucien at all, didn’t let on that this had anything to do with him.
“I even took a walk down to elimination tower.” That one I knew would get under her skin and it did. She moved so quickly I almost didn’t have time to wipe the smile from my face when she turned me around to face her. “You mustn’t, whatever were you thinking? She wiped the few fallen tears I’d been able to squeeze out from my cheeks with her fingers and kissed my forehead.
From there it was easy enough to get myself invited along to the dinner she had planned with her son. And why not? It’s not like it was the first time, but I know had I not put on an act this time around things would’ve been harder, because of ‘her’. Everything now centers around her.
But all it took was my sob story a hint at wanting to end my life and I knew my foster mother would be in a sticky place. She wouldn’t want to cancel dinner with her son, but she’d be afraid now of leaving me alone since I’d planted that possibility in her head, the possibility that I might harm myself.
A jump from the elimination tower might not necessarily kill me, though it can, but it would no doubt leave me destroyed for the rest of my life. It’s something no vampyre would joke about. It’s also where my parents had been killed for their part in the uprising in which they’d been a part.
I kept my forlorn look in place until it was time to leave but once I cleared the door I positively flew back to my rooms in the palace. Something else I have to think about. Very soon the question of my living here will once again be raised.
Since I’m not of their blood and was never officially adopted, it’s against the norm for me to reside within palace walls, even the servants who serve here have that right, and I don’t. Another reason I need Lucien to take me as his second wife.
With that honor no one can ask me to leave ever. In fact, my status will be greatly improved and I can then move into the crown prince’s east wing, a much more opulent prospect than where I am now though it’s nowhere near lacking.
It’s just that I’ve grown used to this place, to the grandeur of my surroundings and most of all to the statement it sends to everyone looking on. I know enough about my doomed parents to know that had they still been alive my home wouldn’t have been half as good; how could it be? this is the grand palace, the most beautifully luxurious palace in all the kingdoms.
My spirits were way up by the time I sat down before the mirror to get my hair dressed and my face painted to enhance my already beautiful face. Once everything was done I turned my face this way and that to make sure nothing was out of place. Satisfied with what I saw, I stepped into the golden silk gown Drusilla held waiting for me.
It was a little bit much for the evening, but I needed Lucien to see what he was missing. I wanted even more to show up that fairy with her loose flying hair decorated with flowers. Our women only groom their hair with jewels and it’s hardly ever worn down like a child’s the way she’d worn hers that day. Too bad I’m not allowed to wear a crown.
My mind went to the official crown of the crown princess consort. That beautiful diadem made with every gem in all the kingdoms set in the rarest of gold. I’ve longed for it my whole life and now it belongs to someone else. This is why she must pay; for taking everything that is rightfully mine.