Tristan kisses me hard, crushing me against his body, and the sweet undeniable relief is exhilarating and I’m crying again because I’m happy. “Take me home, Tristan.”
“What about dinner?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to sit in a room full of people right now. I need to be with you, just us. Please.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He wraps his arm around my waist, and walks me to his car. We don’t bother with mine. There’s an unspoken agreement not to let go, and we don’t, even while he’s driving.
Now I understand why he was upset that day outside Callie’s. I had no idea what he had gone through, and the fact that he has so much guilt about it makes sense. That’s not something that he’s going to be able to let go of easily. But I think I’m going to spend the rest of my life helping him try.
12
Tristan
I feel like both my heart and body have been run over by a tractor. It’s all I can do to focus on the road in front of me.
Until the moment that Nicola said no, I thought I had experienced every kind of pain. Turns out I was wrong. I should have told her about my father before this, and the guilt that swims in my stomach over making her question me—question us—for the reasons I was trying to avoid is making me ill.
Nicola hasn’t let go of me since my confession, and she hasn’t run away either. But she’s right, I don’t think that I could take being in a restaurant right now. I need to feel her skin on mine. Be inside her and get us back to where we were. We both need that connection.
We pull up to my place, and I’m nervous. It feels like this is the make-or-break moment for us. If we get past this moment, we’ll make it. But it’s not a guarantee. Nevertheless, I don’t let go of her hand as we walk up the steps and into the house, and I try to hold her hand as much as possible even as we’re taking off our coats.
“I need to ask your forgiveness,” I tell her.
“No, you don’t, Tristan. I should be apologizing. I should have just asked instead of shutting down.”
“You never should have needed to ask,” I counter.
She smiles. “How about we forgive each other and skip to the part where we have make-up sex?”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Deal,” I say. “But if you have any questions or doubts, I want to know about them, Nicola. I don’t want us to ever be driven apart by something we could have talked about.”
“Agreed,” she says.
“Good. Now go to my bedroom and take off your clothes.”
Nicola raises an eyebrow. “That was pretty bossy.”
I lean closer, kissing her neck before whispering. “I’m going to be the boss for the night. And when we’re done we’re going to make sure there’s no questions or hesitation between us. Now go upstairs and take off your clothes.”
She gives me a sly smile before she goes, but says nothing. I watch the way she walks up the stairs, her hips intentionally swaying more than normal. She’s got a fucking gorgeous ass, and it’s mine. It’s always going to be mine.
As soon as she disappears I take the ring out of my coat pocket and put it in my pants. Then I head to the kitchen and pour two glasses of wine. I’m going to give her some time to breathe, and wonder what I have planned. She’ll figure it out as soon as I pin her against the wall, but I’m looking forward to the look on her face. Especially when I show her the new toy that I bought for her.
Something that will help my fantasy come true. Eventually.
My heart has settled into a normal rhythm and so has my gut. I have been so afraid of this, and it’s over. Thank fuck.
Walking up the stairs, I hear music coming from my bedroom. Our bedroom. I’ve been referring to it as our bedroom since she first stayed over. Because I know as long as I live here it will always be ours. There’s no part of it that can be separated from the two of us. It’s where we slept together for the first time, and where she lost her virginity, and hopefully where she’ll agree to be my wife. It is ours.
Nicola is naked just like I asked, posed on the bed in a way that makes her look like the centerfold of the playboy calendar. I’m hard instantly. This feels more normal, that tension that strung between us the past few days evaporating with every second.
I place the glasses of wine on the nightstand and open her drawer of the dresser where I placed the toy. “I have something for you, if you’re willing.”