He was hopping from foot to foot as we joined him and I reached for Bess’s hand, intertwining our fingers as we began walking forward.
“You know what to look for?” I asked, getting a kick out of how excited the kid seemed.
“Yeah. A big one!”
“Now, hold on.” We reached the lot and Noah was glancing around at the lights strung up on poles that sectioned off the trees. “Not too thin or too many gaps between the branches. Not too tall so it will fit inside your house. Watch for too many needles on the ground. Got it?”
“Yes, Santa.”
“Alright. Don’t go out of our line of sight.”
“What’s that?”
“Line of sight means I can see you and you can see me from wherever you are. If you can’t see me or your mom, you’ve gone too far.”
Noah nodded.
“Go find us a tree!” I shouted, laughing when he shot off in front of us.
Bess opened her mouth and then closed it again. A smile lingered on her lips. “You’re good with him. I’m impressed.”
“I had practice.” Saying that took a lot. I was giving a part of myself to her and she didn’t know what it cost. Not a single soul ever asked me about Colter and that was because I’d made it clear years ago that I couldn’t handle it. Why I felt I could finally talk about it now, I wasn’t sure. Still caused havoc in my head and hurt like hell but when I gazed into Bess’s eyes, I saw a kindred spirit who could understand and share my pain.
“You’ll have to tell me about that someday.” She wisely sensed there was more, and this wasn’t the place for it.
I squeezed her hand as we strolled through the lot, patiently trailing behind Noah as he spent the next thirty minutes deciding on the perfect tree. He finally found one and jumped up and down excitedly as we approached.
“Wow!” Bess smiled wide. “It’s beautiful.”
“Well done, son. You did good.”
Noah beamed with pride and strutted around as I nodded to the salesman.
“We’ll take this one.”
Bess tried to protest but I paid for the tree and we loaded into the bed of my truck. I’d purposely taken the cage because I didn’t want to scratch her car. Once we were back in the car, I pretended to be cold.
“Sure is chilly. I could use some hot chocolate. What about you, Noah?”
“Yes!”
Bess shook her head but relented. “Fine. Just this once.”
I winked at Noah through the mirror and went through McDonald’s. Before I handed over his drink, I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the package of candy canes I picked up the day before. Unwrapping one, I stuck it into his hot chocolate.
Just the way Colter used to love his own.
“This is the best way to drink hot cocoa around the holidays,” I announced. “Trick is to let the candy cane melt into your drink but it’s okay to sneak a few licks now and then.”
“Awesome! This is the best night ever.”
Bess shot me a look. “He won’t sleep tonight with all that sugar.”
“Don’t worry. I have a plan for that.”
Bess didn’t seem convinced, but I drove to Walmart and parked. Two pairs of eyes stared with curiosity.
“Well, we have a tree, but we need to decorate it, right?”