I really hated being asked that question. It was growing old.
“Fine,” I answered, plastering one of those fake smiles I perfected long ago for Alexi on my face.
He frowned, planting his feet apart as he gave me a once over. Seemed like he was going to say more but then his expression softened. “I suppose it’s a lot to take in out there, huh?”
“Yeah. I think I’ll go read a book or something.”
He followed me into his room and shut the door, leaning against the wood.
“You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”
“I know that. It’s just,” he paused and scrubbed a hand down his face, “I’m kind of concerned, sunshine. Your eyes are telling me that you’re in pain and I don’t like it.”
I didn’t want to be interrogated right now. “You’re reading into it.”
“I don’t think I am.”
“Don’t shrink me right now.”
He smirked. “I don’t think I could if I wanted to which I don’t. Something has you agitated.”
Why did he have to be so observant?
“Just let it go.”
“Can’t do that, honey.”
“Fine. I’m upset.”
“Pretty sure I got that part.”
“You won’t understand,” I spat almost angrily. No one did. Maybe Shadow but that wasn’t important at the moment.
“Then try explaining it to me,” Patriot replied calmly.
“I’m lost, okay?”
“Lost how?” He moved away from the door and walked my way slowly, closing the distance between us with every step.
“I’m flailing in the darkness. There’s just emptiness and hate and all the bad shit that’s happened to me. I don’t think I’ll ever find my way out of there,” I confessed, my throat thick with emotion and truth.
“Close your eyes,” he commanded softly.
I opened my mouth to argue, swiping at the tears that lingered on my flushed cheeks, falling even when I was unaware.
“Just close your eyes.”
I obeyed, sniffling as the snot threatened to dribble down my face and drop onto the front of my shirt.
“Reach out your hand.”
“Patriot.”
“Just do it, Ms. Defiant.”
He was teasing. Hesitant, I lifted my hand so slowly it barely moved until my fingers were hovering in the air, empty, alone, and without any help. Several heartbeats lapsed. Just as I was about to sob with the ache in my chest and the fear that he would abandon me, Patriot’s fingers closed around my own. Their warmth collided as our palms slid together in the cool air and he squeezed lightly. For a few seconds, we breathed in perfect sync. Two pairs of lungs functioning to give and sustain life. Easy. Effortless.
“You’re not flailing, Mimi, and you don’t have to find your way out of the darkness alone.”