Maybe it was truly him.
I stopped caring, my eyes falling closed on a sigh as his fingers parted my folds to find me wet and ready for him. It was so wrong. I should never want anyone to touch me there again after everything I’d been through, but I felt safe with Grigory. He never pushed me, consistently going at my pace and monitoring my progress along the way.
“More,” I whispered, encouraging him.
He slipped a finger inside me, piercing me and forcing me into an unbidden memory that caused my blood to run cold. Only, his tongue against my clit yanked me right back, reminding me who parted my thighs and touched me intimately.
“Watch me,” he ordered against my damp flesh. “Hold my gaze.”
I swallowed and forced my eyes down to his, seeking his familiarity and knowledge and losing myself in the wonders of his obsidian irises.
This.
This is good.
Right.
Mine.
And oh, his tongue… Mmm, he could force an angel to fall with that skillful mouth. I groaned, my hands finding his head and my fingers threading through his thick hair. “More,” I repeated, unable to utter a different word.
He chuckled against my sensitive skin, shooting sparks up and down my spine.
I’d been with men before the incident last year, knew what it felt like to experience pleasure, but no one quite captivated me in the way Grigory did now. Being my fantasy probably helped; however, I suspected it was just as much him as it was my mind.
“Fly for me,” he encouraged softly, grazing me with his teeth. “Sing to Lucifer himself, and tell all the realms who you belong to tonight.”
“Grigory,” I moaned, writhing beneath his mouth and crying out as he added a second finger to his thrusts. It provided just enough pleasure and pain to shoot me over the edge into oblivion, my vision blanking out for a span of seconds as bliss overwhelmed every inch of my being.
Yes, yes. This. So much this.
The nightmares of that day slithered away, back into the recesses of my mind, the darkness swallowing it whole and granting me peace and quiet once more.
I shook from my release, sighing in ecstasy, only to open my eyes to find myself alone in my rooms with my hand tucked between my thighs.
I glanced at the wall separating my room from Grigory’s, wondering for the thousandth time if he knew. Did he lie in his silky blue sheets now, stroking himself to thoughts of me? Or was it all a fantasy in my mind?
I swallowed, hating the questions almost as much as I hated myself.
Pathetic.
Pining over a male I couldn’t have.
I should be focused on my revenge, to finally put my mind at rest once and for all. To move on from this place. To live my own life. I couldn’t do that while I longed for a male who could never be mine.
Even if a piece of him would forever reside inside me.
“Stop this,” I told myself.
I needed to get out of here. To kill. It was the only way to tame my wild emotions.
I slid from the bed and wrapped a blue silk robe around my body. Most of the clothes in my wardrobe came from Grigory, as I’d arrived in Noxia with nothing. Hell, everything came from him. My room, my food, my life.
He’d given me too much already.
It was time for me to fend for myself and take care of the names on my list. There were three. I just needed a new charm or amulet to portal-jump. So I’d scour the palace and find several, just in case Grigory decided to take a few back.
But first, I needed to shower.