His lips curled. “I’m not going to punish you for loyalty, Aflora,” he whispered, cupping my cheek and pressing his lips to my temple. “I actually quite admire that trait in you.” He tucked me against his bare chest, the heat of his skin seeming to thaw some of the ice coating my veins.
He… he didn’t feel mad.
Maybe he was hiding it? Playing some sort of mental game again? Did he have more memories of mine to alter?
“The memories are real,” he said softly. “I spent the first ten years of my life with your family, seven of those years with you. We were best friends, Aflora.”
I shook my head, denying every word. “You put those memories there.”
“I didn’t. But I did remove them initially.” He sighed, his gaze taking on a faraway gleam. “We knew the Elders had discovered our location in the Elemental Fae realm, and it was only a matter of time before they came for us. My dad tried to convince your parents to run, but they refused because it would have meant leaving the earth source behind.”
He fell silent for a moment, his expression radiating a pain I could sense through our bond. It pinched my heart, causing my eyes to prickle with tears. Not because it hurt, but because I hurt for him.
“We compromised with the bond.” He cleared his throat, his voice lower, and huskier with emotion. “Then I erased all your memories of me and my dad to protect you from the Elders. It was quite literally the worst day of my life. The agony of removing all those moments, to know my mate wouldn’t know me, was a task no ten-year-old should ever have to endure. But I didn’t have a choice. It was either that or put your life at risk. The latter was an unacceptable fate.”
I recalled the memory of seeing him on the ground, writhing in torment as magic whirled through the air. “Your dad told you to be a man.” The words came out on a whisper, my mind fracturing beneath the image engraved in my memory.
Zakkai grunted. “One of his favorite phrases from my childhood. Pretty sure he still wants to tell me that sometimes.”
I shook my head.
It’s not real.
Don’t believe his lies.
But it feels real.
I couldn’t find any evidence of tampering inside my mind. Which was strange because he’d clearly done something.
“All I did was finish unraveling the spell,” he said. “You started the process with your song. I finished it with the web. It seemed like the easiest way to convince you of the truth, except you still don’t believe me.”
“Sort of hard to believe someone who keeps playing mental games with me,” I muttered.
“Fair,” he agreed, his hand drawing up and down my spine. “But the fact remains that we used to be best friends. You were my Flora, and I was your Kai. We went everywhere together.” His lips curled, and he slowly shook his head. “That sometimes feels like a former life. I don’t even remember that boy anymore.”
I studied his profile, noting the sincerity in his features. Part of me wanted to believe him, but I knew better than to fall for his story this quickly. However, while he appeared to be in the mood to provide details, I decided a question wouldn’t hurt our situation.
“If you’re not that boy, then who are you?”
He considered me for a long moment. So long that I thought he intended to ignore me, or perhaps respond with another riddle.
Instead, he reached out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, then brushed his knuckles down the side of my neck. “I’m a being of vengeance,” he said softly, his gaze following his touch as he traced my collarbone with the back of his hand. “I want justice for what’s been done to Quandary Bloods. Justice for your parents. A new reign to right the wrongs of the Elite.”
“A new reign?”
“Mmm.” His gaze returned to mine. “Have you not considered what it could look like?”
“Honestly, I’ve just been trying to survive.”
He nodded. “Yes. I understand that more than you know.” He dropped his hand to my hip, his body relaxed beneath mine. “Do you approve of how the Council operates today?”
“I assume you mean the Midnight Fae Council.”
“Yes. I’m referring to the male-driven hierarchy where females are expected to bow and just accept their place. Do you approve?”
“Of course I don’t. When Shade bit me, they wouldn’t even let me participate in my own trial. They said my betrothed had to speak on my behalf.”
He smirked. “It’s ridiculous, right? I mean, I prefer logic, but I also understand the role sentiment plays in decisions. Yet Constantine Nacht has created a dictatorship based on harsh resolves alone, without any care as to how it impacts anyone else.”